October 22, 2026
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AI doesn’t want to take over, it wants your Social…

Student Media, Cornell Incident

LOVERCOLUMN: Legendary Lovers

World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

Issues of Sports Gambling

From Fredonia to New Mexico?  

A playlist for each mood: Yearning  

‘Tis the season to be spooky!

Athletes still fighting

Police Notter

The Leader

Satire

Scallion

For one last time: I am the editor of The Scallion, and I have really long legs now

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJOSEPH MARCINIAK Retired Editor of The Scallion Well folks, this is it: my last article as editor. After much thought, I have decided to take my extended legs and take them home, since I am retiring. I have claimed my pension, and all my benefits.  I, Joseph Marciniak, humble servant......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Can you hold a hand and be mean at the same time? An analysis

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag As I was thinking about what to do for this article, I realized that I talk big game about hand holding. It’s a fun activity that anyone can participate in. I figured it appeals to the mass audience. However, I realize there are some people out there......
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Scallion

Turns out, nobody liked my Super Bowl halftime show idea from last year

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor Well, another football season has come and gone. While fans across the country cheered, families remarked about the sub-par commercials this year and Tom Brady has once again managed to make more money than I will ever have in the span of nine months. With......
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Scallion

Horoscopes: The signs as Scallion articles

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteHANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag Guess what everyone! This is my 10th time writing the horoscopes!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!! In honor of this MOMENTOUS occasion, I have decided to read literally every Scallion article written in 2020 and choose one for each sign!!!!!!!!!! Isn’t that fun???????? Also it means I get to do......
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Scallion

Kayne can still win the election! Don’t give up!

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesBRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag You IDIOTS did it again, huh? You squandered the election to some idiots. The two party system fails the will of the people. Polls showed that over 90 percent of Americans wanted Kanye West for the presidency. Before you fake-news fans say it — yes, that......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Ranking the Supreme Court’s fashion sense

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 4 minutesJAY BYRONGuest Scallywag Uh oh! Fashion police! You read the title. Buckle up, fashionistas. We are going hard today on these current Supreme Court members to do the judging they need done for them. For the purposes of this article, I will pretend not to really know them well. Everyone’s......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Exclusive interview with the guy who has Hunter Biden’s laptop

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesBRIAN CECALA Guest Scallywag The Laptop that’s been the center of controversy for one week, which at the current pace of politics today is long gone dead news, has been brought to Fredonia where the world’s leading intellectuals could examine it’s contents. Conservatives talking heads have warned their viewers of......
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