March 6, 2026
Featured

5th Quarter Column: McDermott fired after latest playoff heartbreak

5th Quarter Column: Rocky road leads Bills to Denver

5th Quarter Column: California Dreamin’

Printing points introduced for students, staff

5th Quarter Column: Allen regains MVP form with six scores

Fredonia’s hockey recruiting extends across the nation, world

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What dessert should you bring to your fall…

The ultimate cran-baby tier list

A girlfriend’s guide to watching your partner play video games

Lovercolumn: Expressions of Love

The Leader

Satire

Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Which New Year’s resolution is right for you?

Abbie Miller
Reading Time: 3 minutesABBIE MILLER  Editor-in-Chief, Reluctant Gemini As we head into the second month of the new year, the resolutions that we were so sure we would stick to start to fade from memory.  The ball drop appears to have had the same effect as the neuralyzer in the “Men in Black”......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What to get each sign

Abbie Miller
Reading Time: 4 minutesABBIE MILLER  Editor-in-Chief, Acceptor of Any and All Gifts  It’s just about that time. As the snow blankets campus and I desperately try (and repeatedly fail) not to slip on the ice that covers the walkway to Fenton Hall, the holiday season is upon us. For some of us, that......
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Scallion

Ranking Politicians’ Merch

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 4 minutesGEORGIA MORTILLARO Special to The Leader As we all very well know, fashion is one of the most important aspects of the political landscape.  Just mere weeks from the Election Day itself, I’ll be rating the merchandise of the 2024 political candidates.  Robert F. Kennedy Jr.  Designs: When you look......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes and it’s the same but I’m an alum so it’s different 

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 4 minutesJACE JACOBS Former Assistant Editor of The Scallion, “Adult” with a “Job” who “Has To Go To Work”  What’s up Fredonians? I bet you thought you had seen the last of me, with my incredibly well-crafted, tear-stained Letter from the Desk Of and my gorgeous final horoscopes.  WELL GUESS WHAT! ......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What Papa’s game are you?

Abbie Miller
Reading Time: 3 minutesABBIE MILLER  Editor-in-Chief, absolute zombie  Yes, I am back to give you your horoscopes. No, I haven’t slept since I wrote the last ones. I don’t know if it’s just me, but between my three papers and an exam that are all due at the end of this week, I......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Which Starbucks fall menu item are you?

Drew Paluch
Reading Time: 3 minutesABIGAIL MILLER Editor-in-Chief, Two-Star Comedian Yes, I added another star because The Leader staff told me I was being too hard on myself. Also, I made Scallion Editor Megan Kidby laugh so I’m still riding that wave.  In other exciting news, Starbucks has officially released their fall menu. And who......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Meg’s Declassified School Survival Guide 

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor What if I told you that I knew how to get through the horrors of college life? I know you don’t believe me. You’re probably saying “Megan…this is your fifth year of college, and you can’t even pass Music Theory III. How are you going to......
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Scallion

NEW SCALLION ASSISTANT WANTED

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor In a groundbreaking upset, Jace Jacobs, the Assistant Scallion Editor for The Leader, has graduated. After this tragic loss of our previous assistant, the editorial board of The Leader has announced the search for a new writing assistant for its highly esteemed (read: barely tolerated) satire......
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