Satire

[SATIRE] My apologies … (not clickbait)

Contributor to The LeaderDecember 9, 2023December 6, 2023

December 9, 2023December 6, 2023

MEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor *sigh* I’ve made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgment. On November 23, I made a horrible mistake. At around 2:30 p.m. EST, my grandfather entrusted me with the most sacred part of a white person’s Thanksgiving: the macaroni and cheese. Unlike Colleen Ballinger, I......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What would your sign wear on ‘Let’s Make a Deal’?

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 13, 2023November 13, 2023

November 13, 2023November 13, 2023

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Scallion

[SATIRE] Who will be the next U.S. Senator?

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 12, 2023November 9, 2023

November 12, 2023November 9, 2023

MEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor Ding dong, Dianne Feinstein is dead! Dianne Feinstein, the 90-year-old former senator, passed away on Sept. 23, 2023 and people fought for her spot on the Senate. Even though Laphonza Butler acquired the spot, she does not intend to permanently fill it. Thus, an opportunity arises. ......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Quiz: Which nostalgic computer game are you?

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 22, 2023October 19, 2023

October 22, 2023October 19, 2023

MEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor I’m gonna be honest with y’all, I’ve been really sad recently. Sh*t just happens and you feel like you’re not slaying the haus down boots queen wig like you really want to. When that happens, I play Wizard 101. What game should you play? Take this......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What skeleton are you?

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 19, 2023October 19, 2023

October 19, 2023October 19, 2023

JACE JACOBSAssistant Editor of The Scallion, Amateur Skeleton Wrangler Happy spooky season Fredheads (I know spooky season is an outdated phrase but I’m allowed to use it, I keep my Halloween decorations up year-round so you can’t judge me)! I have discovered a recent passion of mine, and that is......

Scallion

[SATIRE]: Lauren Boebert … Maybe don’t do that.

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 15, 2023October 15, 2023

October 15, 2023October 15, 2023

MEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor and Theater Nerd Hey Girly Pop! I’m so happy you decided to either randomly pick up this student-run newspaper from a state you’re not even in or search “Lauren Boebert Leader” on Google only to find this! I wanted to reach out and ask about your......

Scallion

[SATIRE] What 2024 presidential candidate will win in the race? (the 100m dash)

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 7, 2023October 3, 2023

October 7, 2023October 3, 2023

HUNTER HALTERMAN Track Star* Contrary to popular belief, presidential candidates should not be judged on how well they can run our country. Instead, they should be judged on how well they can run a 100-meter dash. It is 100 meters of not just sprinting, but also courage, determination and willpower.......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What Glee cover are you?

Chloe KowalykSeptember 24, 2023September 21, 2023

September 24, 2023September 21, 2023

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Scallion

[SATIRE] Top 10 Reasons Why My Dad Should Be President

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 23, 2023September 18, 2023

September 23, 2023September 18, 2023

JACE JACOBS Assistant Scallion Editor Photo By TARA WINSTEAD | Provided by Pexels Election season is quickly approaching, and I thought it would benefit the public to know why I feel my father would be the best choice for president of the United States. (PS. Please don’t tell him I......

Scallion

[SATIRE] QUIZ: Does Your Crush Like You Back?

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 8, 2023September 6, 2023

September 8, 2023September 6, 2023

MEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor Graphic by KAROLINA GRABOWSKA | Courtesy of Pexels In my humble editor’s opinion, you really shouldn’t date in college because college people are icky, but if you REALLY want to know if your crush likes you, I suggest taking this quiz! Question #1: What is your......

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Students for Fredonia reflects on the year behind them

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SUNY Chancellor John King unexpectedly visits Fredonia

[SATIRE] My apologies … (not clickbait)

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What would your sign wear on ‘Let’s Make a Deal’?

[SATIRE] Who will be the next U.S. Senator?

[SATIRE] Quiz: Which nostalgic computer game are you?

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What skeleton are you?

[SATIRE]: Lauren Boebert … Maybe don’t do that.

[SATIRE] What 2024 presidential candidate will win in the race? (the 100m dash)

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What Glee cover are you?

[SATIRE] Top 10 Reasons Why My Dad Should Be President

[SATIRE] QUIZ: Does Your Crush Like You Back?