March 7, 2026
Featured

5th Quarter Column: McDermott fired after latest playoff heartbreak

5th Quarter Column: Rocky road leads Bills to Denver

5th Quarter Column: California Dreamin’

Printing points introduced for students, staff

5th Quarter Column: Allen regains MVP form with six scores

Fredonia’s hockey recruiting extends across the nation, world

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What dessert should you bring to your fall…

The ultimate cran-baby tier list

A girlfriend’s guide to watching your partner play video games

Lovercolumn: Expressions of Love

The Leader

Satire

Scallion

[SATIRE] Heartwarming: Fredonia student remembers to call their parents for their birthday

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteMATTHEW BAUMScallion Editor Haha, sike!Here’s the deal. When I came up with this article idea, I was thinking, “Oh, this is such a funny idea, what a low bar!”Ironically, I forgot last week that it was, actually, literally, my mother’s birthday. I did not call her. I didn’t even mail......
Read more
Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: The signs as back to school things

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteALYSSA BUMP Editor in Chief Which back to school thing are you based on your astrological sign? Aries: Post-It notes for your so-called to-do lists. Taurus: A green apple smelly pencil that loses its scent in 24 hours. You disgust me. Gemini: A Jansport backpack to hide all of your......
Read more
Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Which SUNY Fredonia building are you?

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Hey, incoming students! You’re here because you’re pretty cool. So, I’m making this Scallion article JUST for you (not because Matt asked me to). Welcome to Horoscopes!  Aries: McEwen Hall, because everyone loves your reliability. <3 Taurus: Grissom Hall, because you’re loveable at first, but then people......
Read more
Scallion

Elon Musk does stupid crap so regularly, we’ve made a MadLibs-style article to cover him

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUMScallion Editor Elon Musk is not new to criticism. In his time as a public figure and the wealthiest person on the face of the planet, he has regularly made waves in the media by not realizing the responsibility he has as a public figure and the wealthiest person......
Read more
Scallion

[SATIRE] Hillary Clinton inspires wave of theatrical inspiration

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesBRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag  Fans of the iconic feminist and political leader Hillary Rodham Clinton may be surprised that she can add a new title… Theater super-star! After conceding the 2016 election, there were rumors floating around that she had been taking acting classes in her free time. Well, not......
Read more
Scallion

[SATIRE] Not a single SUNY Fredonia a cappella group will let me into their group and here’s why

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Okay, I’ll admit it. Acafest was really cool. Like, okay, sure, everyone did a good job. G Train? Can’t go wrong. However, I have some complaints. ‘Cause, like, not cool, guys. I auditioned for every single one of your little singy groups, and not a single one......
Read more
Scallion

[SATIRE] Some thoughts on the Ukraine crisis, from a very sympathetic acting major

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM  Scallion Editor and The Future of Musical Theatre Let’s also start strong, be aware I’m satirizing. It’s satire, I promise. For further information on the invasion being carried out by Russia in Ukraine, look somewhere that’s not The Scallion.  The events and attacks taking place in Ukraine are......
Read more
Scallion

[SATIRE] Disappearance of the ‘FRED’ sign and other stuff that probably doesn’t matter as much

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor   Over spring break, while hordes of college students spent way too much money and acted recklessly in public, the FRED sign on campus was taken away, as well as some other things. We’ll cover the other things, but my main priority is the signage to our......
Read more
Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Predicting how your week is gonna go

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Welcome back to your favorite article series ever. I’m here to do a classic: predict how your week is gonna go. Aries: It’s your time to shine, Aries, and you know it! The winds are beckoning you. You’re gonna spend some well-deserved time outside, probably near the......
Read more

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. By clicking any link on this page, you are permitting us to set cookies. Accept Read More