HANNAH BLIDY
Staff Scallywag
aries: take a nap. you deserve it. also, i wish i was taking a nap right now instead of writing the horoscopes.
taurus: guess what i just bought at tj maxx! i got some cool skincare products and i’m really excited to try them out. let’s do a spa night sometime! i’m gonna invite aquarius too.
gemini: have you watched twilight recently? i think it’s about time you watch the series again. i’m getting that angsty vampire vibe from you.
cancer: do you ever procrastinate by doing other things you need to do? for example, writing the horoscopes when you have two midterms due this week? hypothetically i mean. like who would actually do that lol.
leo: it’s been so cold recently and i know you hate the cold, leo, but i’m just really excited not to sweat my ass off every single day, isn’t that something good about fall? also the clothes. we should buy matching sweaters; that would be super cute.
virgo: you should buy a loved one some flowers this week. honestly, they would probably really appreciate it and when’s the last time you did something nice for someone besides yourself?
libra: hey if you’re a libra, here’s the inside scoop (LIBRAS ONLY PAST THIS POINT): i’m taking the week off next week and you deserve to do that too. or maybe you should do the homework you’re procrastinating, but let’s be real, you’re not doing that hahahahaha.
scorpio: woaaaaahhh man what’s up?! you’re like totally killing the vibe right now dude! turn that frown upside down and come chill my guy, you like definitely need a cool down, you know what i’m sayin’?
sagittarius: don’t you wish there was a target in fredonia? i mean that combined with tj maxx would probably drain our bank accounts, but it would still be pretty fun. i like their shoes there, much better than the walmart ones. actually i’m looking for a pair of black chelsea boots so if you have any recommendations feel free to email the leader and they’ll forward it to me. thanks in advance!
capricorn: i bet you forgot your raincoat at home and so you’ve either been walking around campus in a winter coat or no jacket at all. you’re probably soaking wet aren’t you? dry yourself off pal, and if you need a ride to go buy an umbrella, let me know. i would offer you one, but my mom gave me this umbrella to borrow and i have to give it back, so sorry.
aquarius: do you wanna come to the spa night me and taurus are having? i just got all this stuff from tj maxx. don’t feel pressured, though, i know you have a lot of assignments it’s just we all haven’t hung out as a group for a while so i figured i’d ask. let me know!
pisces: i did the horoscopes in order this week so you’re the last one, pisces. to be honest i’m really tired and don’t want to finish these so sorry for the sh*tty horoscope. better luck next time, bud.