The Leader
Scallion

Horoscopes

Reading Time: < 1 minute

HANNAH BLIDY

Staff Scallywag

aries: (you are small in this scenario) hello littel tiney babie you are small! !!!!

taurus: ~~~~~~~~~living lifeeeeee <3

gemini: move it move it babey i know u love to dance!

cancer: squeak squeak lil mousey babie so small!!!!!!!!!

leo: nothing bad ever happens to the kennedy’s!!!!!! WHA

virgo: babie little babie

libra: emo phase making a come back huh?

scorpio: agghhhhhghh!!!!!!!!!! punch somethin’!!!!!

sagittarius: you just lost the game.

capricorn: i like writing the horoscopes in chaos mode.

aquarius: queso queso queso queso queso 

pisces: boopsie! just gotcha!!!!!!!!! heehehehehehehehe

Related posts

[SATIRE] Braces are torture. Like, actual torture

Contributor to The Leader

[SATIRE] An exclusive (non-) interview with SUNY chancellor

Contributor to The Leader

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What dessert should you bring to your fall event?

Megan Kidby

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. By clicking any link on this page, you are permitting us to set cookies. Accept Read More