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Scallion

It’s officially moronic clothing choice season once again

MATTHEW BAUM

Staff Scallywag

With the first snowfall taking place last week, there was a lot of hustle and bustle of college students that have apparently never seen snow before. The next generation of American minds looked up in horror to behold the one thing they could never be prepared enough for: November precipitation.

It’s cold, wet and the wind is absolutely raucous in Fredonia. Despite all the warning signs that this kind of weather is far from over, there are a number of students on campus that are unwilling to conform to rational thought when preparing to go out into the world.

Chad Seabury III, a sophomore lacrosse major with a minor in mixology, walked to his 8 a.m. class last Monday in nothing but gym shorts, a hoodie and Nike Benassi slides. He looked calm, even with the temperature at a brisk 19 degrees Fahrenheit.

Graphic by Khris Dunn

He spoke at nearly a whisper, and when Staff Scallywag Matthew Baum asked him what had happened in his life to make him so unbothered by the chill, he simply said, “I’m not going to change who I am because of the conditions around me. It’s not who I am. I will wear pants when my true self finds it right to wear pants.”

Inspired by this, I decided to test the Seabury lifestyle. I made my way back to my room and changed into similar attire — I lacked slides, so my Old Navy flip-flops would have to do — and I made my way through my schedule.

My legs clenched so hard to fight the winter wind that I gave myself a charley horse while walking to choir practice, and I lost feeling in my fingers until the next morning.

Even though the first day was rough, I decided that this experiment couldn’t be finished after only one day, so I set out on Tuesday wearing tennis shoes, jeans and a pink tank top from New Smyrna Beach.

At 24 degrees and with wind chill making it feel like 5, I was in for quite a shock when I took my first step outside.

The show must go on though, so I gritted my teeth and bore my burden. As I was making my way to my first class of the afternoon, Joe Marciniak, the chief editor of the Scallion saw me and said, “Jesus f*cking Christ, get a g*ddamn jacket on.”

Here’s the thing, though. When he said that, I lost all feeling of chill in my body. I no longer recognized that it was cold out, and I realized that the air around me was a perfect temperature. I see now the merit behind Seabury’s words. For the rest of the semester, you can find me wearing shorts and sandals exclusively. And before you say anything to me, look at my face and know that I am finally at peace, both with myself and with the world.

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