MATTHEW BAUM
Staff Scallywag
The beginning of the spring semester has brought with it a variety of new faces to campus. Transfer students have wormed their way into the loving embrace of SUNY Fredonia, and the returning students are back to producing ungodly smells in the hallways of their residence halls.
One of these transfer students is named Geraldine Wilcox, a 14-year-old Tokay Gecko with a minimal spotting pattern. She is a sophomore history major, and she actually accompanied by her friend Savannah Wilcox, a sophomore arts and animation major with a minor in history. These two are both from CUNY Queens College, and according to Savannah, they made the transition because of certain logistical issues concerning Geraldine.
“Y’see, Queens was fine, but the administration had a problem with Gerri, going to class on her own. That’s bullshit! She deserves to be here just as much as I do! She was on the Dean’s list, and she hardly ever bit anyone!”
Due to her gecko-specific requirements, Geraldine has a few special treatments. Her bed was taken out of her and Savannah’s room, and replaced with a small terrarium with soft soil and small plants, and her meal plan has been supplemented by a six-month supply of crickets and 38 small mice, with their own enclosure in the Wilcox’s dorm room.
The Wilcoxes were welcomed to SUNY Fredonia with each other transfer student, and despite a few odd looks from passers-by, Geraldine has been going to her classes. Her English professor, Ann Seigle Drege, described her reptilian student as “very attentive” and “full of thought-provoking viewpoints.”
One main drawback for her friend and roommate, Savannah admits, is the temperature. “It gets very cold here, and she’s got a sensitivity to too much thermal fluctuation, so I knitted her a sweater with a little ‘F’ on it.”
A number of computer science and technical production majors decided to raise the bar, and designed for Geraldine a one-of-a-kind Class Cart. This unique mode of transportation has a built-in heat lamp, food and water dispensers, and USB port for her to plug in her laptop as she so chooses. In addition to keeping Geraldine warm, it also serves as a safeguard against unaware pedestrians who might have stepped on her on her way to class.
This semester, be sure to reach out and welcome the new faces you see around campus. They are kind, warm, funny, bright, and at least one has a breakaway tail. But you’ll never know if you don’t find out for yourself.