TRAVIS LEFEVRE
Assistant Lampoon Editor
Police are currently investigating the murder of Ray N. Carnation, who was found dead outside of the Williams Center last Friday.
Police reports indicate finding the suspect, Jason Johnson, sitting on a bench next to Carnation 12 hours after the shooting.
“We practically flipped the campus upside down to find the murderer, and he was right there the whole time, sitting on the bench,” said police chief Nate Wit in an official release. “I’m not entirely sure how we missed him. He was literally right next to the body. Perhaps the newspaper he was reading obscured his face just enough to where we didn’t suspect him.
“However, due to lack of evidence, we have to release Mr. Johnson until such a time comes where we can find more solid evidence,” Wit continued.
In an exclusive interview, Johnson told the whole story from his perspective.
“I don’t want to incriminate myself. So first of all, I didn’t murder Ray. He was my friend,” began Johnson. “I was just sitting on the bench, reading the paper and spinning my 9 mm around and all the sudden I heard gunshots. I looked up, and I just saw Ray laying there. After I found out what happened I just went back to reading.
“So the police show up, right? They ask me to get up from the bench for a moment so they can look for evidence, so I’m like ‘I should probably just leave.’ I turn to leave and I find out I’m basically blocked in by police tape about four hours after the murder. So I just decided to wait it out,” Johnson continued while giving his pistol a playful spin on his finger.
During the 12-hour period, Johnson was asked to move from his bench. Nothing else occurred until the investigators realized he had been toting a pistol in the open for the entire time.
“I look over at this kid on the bench, and he’s just spinning a gun on his finger,” said Detective Jacob Jacobs “That’s when it clicked in my head. ‘It was him!’ But it turns out I was wrong, because he’s released now. We’ll get the killer eventually.
“During the fingerprint analysis, only five fingerprints on the gun match Mr. Johnson. Whereas if it were him, we would have all ten fingerprints matching Johnson. With this new evidence I think our perpetrator has one hand,” Jacobs continued.
Police are now searching for a one handed man roaming the Fredonia campus. If you see anything you are encouraged to call University Police immediately.