The Leader
Scallion

‘James and the Giant Peach’ confuses local farmers market

JESSICA D’NONSENS

Lampoonist

 

When a group advertises a very large peach, they better be able to deliver. That was not the case for “James and the Giant Peach,” the Department of Theatre and Dance production that premiered April 22 in Bartlett Theatre. While the performance was unbelievable and received spectacular reviews, the local farmers’ market was outraged.

“We were promised a giant peach!” said Ann Gree, the president of Fredonia Farmers’ Market, Inc. “Our business has been in Fredonia for years, and we thought this production was going to be something we could buy into.”

Fredonia Farmers’ Market will reopen the first week in May. While business at the farmers’ market is always impressive, the growers were hoping for something bigger — much bigger — this summer.

“Well, I’ve been the official head chef for the farmers’ market now for 10 years,” said Bob Forappels. “We’ve seen big cabbage, big tomatoes, big squash — heck, even a big corn — but when we heard about a big peach, no, a giant peach, well, that got our knickers in a twist.”

But when they arrived at the production, anticipating the sweet aroma of gooey, massive peach, they found only talented performers and surreal stage design.

“The peach ain’t even real,” Forappels said. “I thought, ‘Well here I’m going to make me a nice peach cobbler,’ and even though the peach looked real, I know a real peach from a fake peach, and that was a fake peach.”

While the misunderstanding stemmed from a lack of investigation into Roald Dahl’s beloved childhood book, the farmers said they’re not going down without a fight.

“We need to let our voices be heard,” said head of Farmers Against Theater (FAT) Fae Nomanon. “We’re staging protests, right outside the theatre, every night that we don’t see a huge, real peach. We have hundreds of people signed up to stand with us against the lies that the Department of Theatre and Dance is advertising.”

The signs made by Nomanon and her supporters include, “No Peach? Impeach!,” “James Is a Phony,” and “Peaches for Punishment!” The protesters intend to go to each of the shows this weekend to show their disappointment in the production.

“The production is supposed to remind people of what childhood was like,” said non-farmer “Peach” attendee and video game villain Bowser. “And even though my expectations were let down, too, I can see the beauty in the nostalgia the cast and crew worked so hard in creating.”

Related posts

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

Contributor to The Leader

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Life lessons from the signs

Contributor to The Leader

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What the last month of the semester has in store for the signs

Contributor to The Leader

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. By clicking any link on this page, you are permitting us to set cookies. Accept Read More