ALBERTO GONZALEZ
Staff Lampoonist
As another semester begins and everyone is full of false confidence, now is a good time to address the freshmen on campus. Transfer students should take this advice, too. Trust me, I wish I knew this when I transferred.
The first and foremost piece of advice that I can give to any freshmen reading this right now is to simply stop being a freshman. Lanyards are for literally anywhere except the neck. Nothing screams freshman like a newly minted lanyard adorned around the nape as if it were a fresh Little Trees “black ice” air freshener on your rear view.
Being a good conversationalist is important for finding friends. You should talk about things you did in high school ALL THE TIME, literally as much as you possibly can. Nothing says freshman more than constantly trying to live in the comfort of high school while filling the room full of your insecurities in the present.
Another good way to make friends is in your classes! Still try to remember, however, that during ice breakers on the first day of classes, claiming you are a “weird person” is not an interesting fact about yourself. Everyone will want to hang around you while you are constantly comparing them to people you know from home!
How should you spend your time? The best way to make the most of your semester is by going to class, sitting in your dorm and not doing any extra curricular activities whatsoever.
Hate to say it, but the “freshman 15” is a lie. You want to gain 15 pounds? Go to Cranston and challenge yourself to eat more and more everyday. You will gain a strong work ethic in many aspects.
Remember: the only way to find fellow freshmen is to ask every other person if they are, or not, with no other context beforehand.
In fact, complaining about the schedule the school has made you and doing nothing about it will show that you are persistent and have grit, which happen to be two highly sought-after characteristics everyone looks for in a friend!
