[SATIRE] Top 12 tips to survive a mosh pit
JACKSON MOELLER Guest Scallywag With live music coming back to venues all across the country, we here at the Scallion want to help out the everyday concert-goer and their teensy-tiny friends that were peer-pressured to go to the Slipknot concert. Below are some of the best ways to survive the......
[COMIC] Free Man Hill: First Day
RYAN LUDU Special to The Leader...
[SATIRE] Chris Pine announces MasterClass on managing the most obnoxious people you know
MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor Chris Pine, the celebrated actor featured in the newest Olivia Wilde film “Don’t Worry Darling” has just announced that he is teaming up with MasterClass to teach subscribers how to avoid wasting one’s time with the most miserable people on the planet. Pop culture experts believe......
[SATIRE] Horoscopes 9/30
JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Hi buds. Love ya. Where’s your stress level at? I’ll tell you. Aries: Starting off strong, my little Aries friends are always struggling. You’re struggling extra hard this week. Uh oh! What now?! Taurus: Hmmmmmm … I can’t really figure you out. Just make sure you make......
[COMIC] Vampire Date Night
NICOLE THORSON Special to The Leader...
[COMIC] Bird Scooter Prix
ANGELO PETRILLI Special to The Leader...
[SATIRE] Horoscopes
JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Welcome to your favorite article of the week, Horoscopes! In this edition, I decide which Fredonia activity you should partake in this week. Aries: Email the head of your department and tell them what a fantastic job they’re doing in long, convoluted essay format. Taurus: Reminisce Tim......
[SATIRE] What’s that, Fredonia?
What’s your problem? Like, seriously! What’s wrong with you? MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor This year at SUNY Fredonia, there’s something different about the atmosphere on campus. Namely, everyone seems super stressed and put-down between classes. I, Matthew Baum, took to the streets, eager to seek out just what the major......
[SATIRE] You know, I think we need to replace the Bird scooters with horses
JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag You heard me. Well, okay, hear me out. I have so many reasons. In fact, I’m gonna list ‘em right off for you because I know my idea would work out better than these other trifling chump transportation devices. 1. Horses are good for the environment. While......