The Scallion - Page 16 of 85 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

Time isn’t real and we are accelerating into Hell

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 11, 2021October 11, 2021

October 11, 2021October 11, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag I was going to write an article about Gavin Newsom and the California recall but it’s been less than a week and it’s already not relevant to the news cycle anymore. The human conscious experience has accelerated to only remembering things that happened in the last......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Why I’m pissed we have to wear masks

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 16, 2021September 16, 2021

September 16, 2021September 16, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag If you live in the United States, or maybe even other places, I’m sure you’ve heard we have to wear masks. This mandate has been in place for a while and it’s caused a bit of a stir. Well, I’ve been ruminating; I don’t think it’s a......

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[SATIRE] I’m going to lose my marbles: My journey from one job to the next

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 16, 2021September 21, 2021

September 16, 2021September 21, 2021

MATTHEW BAUM Editor to the Scallion For many of us here at SUNY Fredonia, this summer was a trial. Our collective patience, strength and mental fortuity was tested day in or day out. I understand this exhausting feat firsthand, as I served as a camp counselor in the middle of......

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Totally true story of the “FRED” sign

Jules HoeptingSeptember 10, 2021September 9, 2021

September 10, 2021September 9, 2021

JULES HOEPTING Managing Editor This is the satire section of the paper, but everything I am about to tell you is totally true — not exaggerated at all. Really. As one of the head editors, I deemed this topic too comical to put in any other section. All summer, I......

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You’re fully vaxxed now! You can kiss and hold hands!

Contributor to The LeaderMay 17, 2021May 17, 2021

May 17, 2021May 17, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag I gotta say, I am so freaking excited to be talking about holding hands without feeling bad about it. I don’t know if anyone else remembers, but I love talking about holding hands and maybe kissing. I especially still hold a love for the Willy C’s silhouettes,......

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[SATIRE] Congress members found at Ghost Club

Contributor to The LeaderMay 14, 2021May 9, 2021

May 14, 2021May 9, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag A group of Congress members known for being part of the “America First Caucus” were found gleefully running around in the woods in white costumes. They were frolicking around a fire that had a giant wooden “T” in the middle of it. When asked about why......

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Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderMay 10, 2021May 9, 2021

May 10, 2021May 9, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag the signs as stuff in fredonia aries: Sunny’s taurus: strawberry lemonade from Starbucks gemini: Uppercrust cancer: Reed Library leo: the clock tower virgo: Canadaway Street libra: overpriced sweatshirt at the bookstore scorpio: Muldoon’s sagittarius: Tuscany capricorn: the F in Fredonia that got stolen that one time ......

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[SATIRE] Fredonia student starting squirrel club

Jules HoeptingMay 9, 2021May 16, 2021

May 9, 2021May 16, 2021

JULES HOEPTING Design Editor Jodee Doe was sipping on coffee on the Starbucks patio when she beheld a sight that inspired her: a squirrel perched on a bicycle while consuming bread. The squirrel’s fascinating behavior reminded Doe of her friend, John Smith, who chose to attend Cornell University over SUNY......

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Catching up with Geraldine, SUNY Fredonia’s first gecko student

Contributor to The LeaderMay 6, 2021May 7, 2021

May 6, 2021May 7, 2021

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor It’s been over a year since we’ve had the luxury of meeting and talking with Geraldine Wilcox and her former roommate, Savannah, and we at the Scallion wanted to hear how this dynamic duo has been handling the 2020-21 school year, given all that’s happened. When......

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[SATIRE] A list of my NFTs

Contributor to The LeaderMay 1, 2021April 25, 2021

May 1, 2021April 25, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Hey there. Just wanted to post an article showing how absolutely ridiculously baller I am. Unfortunately, I was told I have to actually give you a definition of what an NFT is, and I can hardly even describe it myself despite being the most successful NFT owner......

[OPINION] “Search for Meaning”

Pick a card, any card: Students premiere tarot art depictions

[SATIRE] SUNY Fredonia’s “Minors” email sparks panic

Lacrosse sets sights on Puerto Rico, playoffs

Fredonia mayor threatens to call National Guard for this year’s…

Attacks on diversity, equity and inclusion continue

[OPINION] Lovercolumn: Sex Symbols in Media

[SATIRE] “A Sitdown With Brock” season premiere gets leaked

5th Quarter Column: Why Has it Become Harder to Watch…

Roommates release song on Valentine’s Day in support of domestic…

Time isn’t real and we are accelerating into Hell

[SATIRE] Why I’m pissed we have to wear masks

[SATIRE] I’m going to lose my marbles: My journey from one job to the next

Totally true story of the “FRED” sign

You’re fully vaxxed now! You can kiss and hold hands!

[SATIRE] Congress members found at Ghost Club

Horoscopes

[SATIRE] Fredonia student starting squirrel club

Catching up with Geraldine, SUNY Fredonia’s first gecko student

[SATIRE] A list of my NFTs