October 26, 2026
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The Leader
Scallion

[SATIRE] What’s that, Fredonia?

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteWhat’s your problem? Like, seriously! What’s wrong with you?  MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor This year at SUNY Fredonia, there’s something different about the atmosphere on campus. Namely, everyone seems super stressed and put-down between classes. I, Matthew Baum, took to the streets, eager to seek out just what the major......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] You know, I think we need to replace the Bird scooters with horses

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag You heard me. Well, okay, hear me out. I have so many reasons. In fact, I’m gonna list ‘em right off for you because I know my idea would work out better than these other trifling chump transportation devices. 1. Horses are good for the environment. While......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Heartwarming: Fredonia student remembers to call their parents for their birthday

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteMATTHEW BAUMScallion Editor Haha, sike!Here’s the deal. When I came up with this article idea, I was thinking, “Oh, this is such a funny idea, what a low bar!”Ironically, I forgot last week that it was, actually, literally, my mother’s birthday. I did not call her. I didn’t even mail......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: The signs as back to school things

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteALYSSA BUMP Editor in Chief Which back to school thing are you based on your astrological sign? Aries: Post-It notes for your so-called to-do lists. Taurus: A green apple smelly pencil that loses its scent in 24 hours. You disgust me. Gemini: A Jansport backpack to hide all of your......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Which SUNY Fredonia building are you?

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Hey, incoming students! You’re here because you’re pretty cool. So, I’m making this Scallion article JUST for you (not because Matt asked me to). Welcome to Horoscopes!  Aries: McEwen Hall, because everyone loves your reliability. <3 Taurus: Grissom Hall, because you’re loveable at first, but then people......
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Scallion

Elon Musk does stupid crap so regularly, we’ve made a MadLibs-style article to cover him

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUMScallion Editor Elon Musk is not new to criticism. In his time as a public figure and the wealthiest person on the face of the planet, he has regularly made waves in the media by not realizing the responsibility he has as a public figure and the wealthiest person......
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Scallion

Megan’s Movie Corner: Jordan Peele’s “Nope”

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Guest Scallywag  Welcome to Megan’s Movie Corner. In this article, and hopefully other articles, I’m going to describe to you a movie that hasn’t been released yet based on the trailer or trailers that have been released.  In today’s article I’m going to describe to you the movie......
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