The Scallion - Page 19 of 85 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

[SATIRE] Admin debates how to tell President Kolison about FredFest

Contributor to The LeaderApril 1, 2021March 30, 2021

April 1, 2021March 30, 2021

JAMES MEAD Editor, Barely Managing to Write This Semester Well, it’s almost that time of the semester, and FredFest is on everyone’s minds — everyone but SUNY Fredonia’s new president, that is. FredFest, an annual Fredonia tradition where college students raise money in support of their unhealthy alcohol habits, was......

Scallion

Music Review: “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 31, 2021March 31, 2021

March 31, 2021March 31, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag We all know it. Some of us hate it. It gives us a flashback to the early days of internet memes. No, it’s not the Nyan Cat song. It is the one and only, “Never Gonna Give You Up.” According to KnowYourMeme.com, Rickrolling is a classic......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Look out Fredonia Twitter, The Leader’s making some changes

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 31, 2021March 30, 2021

March 31, 2021March 30, 2021

MATTHEW BAUM Editor of the Scallion and MtS fanboy To say that the internet is a mixed bag would be an understatement. There are trolls and memers, there are political extremists getting into scraps with everyday citizens and most importantly, there are spheres of fandom that revolve entirely around the......

Scallion

Rating NBA players based on their hairlines

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 30, 2021March 30, 2021

March 30, 2021March 30, 2021

GRIFFIN DOMBROSKE Special to The Leader I suppose I should preface this with the fact that I am in no way well-versed in any Hockey team and their players. That being said, I have decided to rate their performance in the NBA based solely off of how broke their hairline......

Scallion

Wow, Hannah’s writing a real article for once? I didn’t even know that was possible.

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 30, 2021March 30, 2021

March 30, 2021March 30, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag Yes, you read that title correctly. No horoscopes for me this week. They were hijacked from me by other members of the Scallywag crew. I’m so upset that I just started writing this article so that maybe they’ll give them back to me. Please guys, I......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Government sneaks vaccine into American cheese

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 30, 2021March 30, 2021

March 30, 2021March 30, 2021

JULES HOEPTING Design Editor They weren’t going to be happy. My fingers curled around the edge of the podium, I looked at people in blazers with tape recorders aimed at me. They were all six feet apart from each other, but it felt like they were six inches from my......

Scallion

[SATIRE] The true source of the dog food smell on campus

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 29, 2021March 30, 2021

March 29, 2021March 30, 2021

CHLOE KOWALYK Staff Writer Ah yes, the weather is warming up and we can finally go outside. Fredonia students fill the campus, laying out picnic blankets and going on walks with their friends. The semester is more than halfway through, and everything is looking up. That is until… **Sniff Sniff**......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 28, 2021March 28, 2021

March 28, 2021March 28, 2021

MATTHEW BAUM Astrology amateur and general party-pooper **DISCLAIMER** — I do not know much about astrology, so these will be out of order. If you could, print them in this order. I think it’ll be funny. Libra: You’re gonna want to avoid eating any fish items this week. I......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Police Notters are back, baby!

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 26, 2021March 23, 2021

March 26, 2021March 23, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag In April of 2019, the police stopped giving the Scallion permission to post the campus police reports. I, however told the Chief of Campus Police that if they didn’t give me permission to post the daily reports, I would write the article “Fredonia Campus Police Chief......

Scallion

[SATIRE] My teeth can cut glass. I’m going to shotgun a Svedka

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 25, 2021March 23, 2021

March 25, 2021March 23, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag In October of the year 2019, I went to a party. It was absolutely bonkers — I watched someone dressed up as the “stonks” guy vaping and a fake Belle Delphine carrying around mason jars of “bath water” Everclear. However, the best thing I had seen that......

[SCALLION/SPORTS] Volz enlisted to help suffering Sabres

[SCALLION/NEWS] All hail the new era: The Scallion has taken…

March Madness: Fredonia edition

TADA transforms Shakespearean play into a modern classic with “Twelfth…

C-store faces backlash from selling expired drink

[OPINION] Boil water notices continue due to government inefficiency

[OPINION] “Search for Meaning”

Pick a card, any card: Students premiere tarot art depictions

[SATIRE] SUNY Fredonia’s “Minors” email sparks panic

Lacrosse sets sights on Puerto Rico, playoffs

[SATIRE] Admin debates how to tell President Kolison about FredFest

Music Review: “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley

[SATIRE] Look out Fredonia Twitter, The Leader’s making some changes

Rating NBA players based on their hairlines

Wow, Hannah’s writing a real article for once? I didn’t even know that was possible.

[SATIRE] Government sneaks vaccine into American cheese

[SATIRE] The true source of the dog food smell on campus

Horoscopes

[SATIRE] Police Notters are back, baby!

[SATIRE] My teeth can cut glass. I’m going to shotgun a Svedka