The Scallion - Page 19 of 82 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

For one last time: I am the editor of The Scallion, and I have really long legs now

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 1, 2021March 1, 2021

March 1, 2021March 1, 2021

JOSEPH MARCINIAK Retired Editor of The Scallion Well folks, this is it: my last article as editor. After much thought, I have decided to take my extended legs and take them home, since I am retiring. I have claimed my pension, and all my benefits. I, Joseph Marciniak, humble servant......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Can you hold a hand and be mean at the same time? An analysis

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 27, 2021February 24, 2021

February 27, 2021February 24, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag As I was thinking about what to do for this article, I realized that I talk big game about hand holding. It’s a fun activity that anyone can participate in. I figured it appeals to the mass audience. However, I realize there are some people out there......

Scallion

Heartwarming! A shrimp really did fry this rice

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 25, 2021February 24, 2021

February 25, 2021February 24, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag By all known laws of biology, a shrimp should not have the ability to fry rice. Yet when I heard rumors around the campus of not one, but multiple local establishments selling shrimp fried rice I knew I had to get the scoop. What I was......

Scallion

[SATIRE] President Biden announces “Drugs are cool now!”

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 24, 2021February 24, 2021

February 24, 2021February 24, 2021

JOSEPH MARCINIAKScallion Editor At a press conference on Sunday, press secretary Jen Psaki was talking about nuclear weapon deals or something when the president made a surprise appearance. Reporters in the room say that he had a confused, jumbled look, and had some sort of white powder beneath his nose.......

Scallion

Turns out, nobody liked my Super Bowl halftime show idea from last year

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 23, 2021February 23, 2021

February 23, 2021February 23, 2021

MATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor Well, another football season has come and gone. While fans across the country cheered, families remarked about the sub-par commercials this year and Tom Brady has once again managed to make more money than I will ever have in the span of nine months. With......

Scallion

Horoscopes: The signs as Scallion articles

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 21, 2021February 21, 2021

February 21, 2021February 21, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag Guess what everyone! This is my 10th time writing the horoscopes!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!! In honor of this MOMENTOUS occasion, I have decided to read literally every Scallion article written in 2020 and choose one for each sign!!!!!!!!!! Isn’t that fun???????? Also it means I get to do......

Scallion

[SATIRE] How to make friends with the coronavirus, a step-by-step guide

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 18, 2021May 4, 2021

February 18, 2021May 4, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Over the winter break, I’ve had time to think about my friends — who is a real friend, who wants to be my friend and who needs a friend. The more I think about it, the more I realize some people are very lonely and that hurts......

Scallion

Kayne can still win the election! Don’t give up!

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 17, 2021February 17, 2021

February 17, 2021February 17, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag You IDIOTS did it again, huh? You squandered the election to some idiots. The two party system fails the will of the people. Polls showed that over 90 percent of Americans wanted Kanye West for the presidency. Before you fake-news fans say it — yes, that......

Scallion

An open dialogue: Union Ghost vs. High School Student

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 17, 2021February 15, 2021

February 17, 2021February 15, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag We are here at the Scallion always to further intelligent discussion. In light of the ever-ongoing topic of the Confederate flag within America, I have invited the ghost of the Union Colonel Eugene B. Beaumont. Beaumont trained soldiers in Washington in 1861 and received a medal......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 16, 2020November 16, 2020

November 16, 2020November 16, 2020

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag Aries: You will become complacent these next 4 years. <3 Taurus: Stop being mean to your hot gamer gf. :/ Gemini: You’re boolin. Everything will stay the same. 🙂 Cancer: You will get a 4 for 4 this week. At the red-head girl place. Leo: Someone......

From the Desk of Chloe Kowalyk: Editor in Chief

From the Desk of EJ Jacobs: Life & Arts Editor

From the Desk of Jace Jacobs: Asst. Scallion Editor

From the Desk of Nicole Thorson: Art Director

From the Desk of Henry Domst: Design Editor

From the Desk of Sierra Mills: Chief Copy Editor

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

[OPINION] What COVID-19 inadvertently taught us

ITS unveils stratigic plan for technology

Dr. Kathryn Kendall takes on enrollment

For one last time: I am the editor of The Scallion, and I have really long legs now

[SATIRE] Can you hold a hand and be mean at the same time? An analysis

Heartwarming! A shrimp really did fry this rice

[SATIRE] President Biden announces “Drugs are cool now!”

Turns out, nobody liked my Super Bowl halftime show idea from last year

Horoscopes: The signs as Scallion articles

[SATIRE] How to make friends with the coronavirus, a step-by-step guide

Kayne can still win the election! Don’t give up!

An open dialogue: Union Ghost vs. High School Student

Horoscopes