The Scallion - Page 20 of 85 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

[SATIRE] Why are dogs not allowed to take Fredonia classes?

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 20, 2021March 16, 2021

March 20, 2021March 16, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag What’s up with Fredonia? I mean, we say we’re sooo inclusive, but I really can’t agree anymore under these circumstances. Frankly, I’m disappointed and I expected so much more from this school. Why are dogs not allowed to take classes here? The reason why I’m bringing this......

Scallion

The Tickler: Fredonia’s newest sketchy guy

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 18, 2021March 15, 2021

March 18, 2021March 15, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag Recent reports around the campus have students worried. Sightings of a “demon-esque” figure crawling around on all fours on campus. Some say if you let it get too close, he’ll tickle you. Thus he has been dubbed “The Tickler.” I interviewed students who have claimed sightings......

Scallion

Local man goes into food coma after throwing one-man Pi Day rave

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 15, 2021March 15, 2021

March 15, 2021March 15, 2021

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor and Pi Day Enthusiast Tragedy struck the other night as Vernon Crompton, a native to the Fredonia area and alumnus of the class of 2017, was placed in permanent care after setting himself into a food coma. Crompton, 26, has been known as an avid fan......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 13, 2021March 13, 2021

March 13, 2021March 13, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag the signs in one word or less aries: moist taurus: bug gemini: beanz cancer: maldives leo: angry virgo: lightswitch libra: pretty scorpio: FIRE!!!!! sagittarius: lamp capricorn: what? aquarius: hat pisces: orange...

Scallion

I amalgamated my friends into a hivemind to be COVID safe

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 12, 2021March 12, 2021

March 12, 2021March 12, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag We all know that COVID-19 changed basically everything in our life, especially for those of us who live on campus. There were many problems originally, like people being loud during quiet hours (I know my neighbors probably aren’t reading this but God I wish they were), the......

Scallion

[SATIRE] (Inspiring!) Local child works in sweatshop to afford hospital bill

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 12, 2021March 8, 2021

March 12, 2021March 8, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag In the modern era, we as Americans ask ourselves, which is more important? Being a red-blooded AMERICAN or a diaper-wearing communist? Sometimes I look at the people and think it’s a shame how brainwashed they are. The president of the free world is a communist and......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Conservative convention planners shape floor layout into a Hindu symbol of prosperity

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 10, 2021March 8, 2021

March 10, 2021March 8, 2021

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor Once again, the whiners that are so prevalent in the liberal media have caused a stink over something that’s harmless and even inspiring, all for the sake of cancelling conservative values in the U.S. The beloved super-Pac People for the Corporations had planned a conservative convention......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 7, 2021March 7, 2021

March 7, 2021March 7, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag aries: f*ckin’ uh i don’t know taurus: ur like a little f*ckin’ turtle gemini: underrated air sign we love u gemini babies cancer: cry baby oooo whatcha gonna do f*ckin’ cry about it? leo: why don’t you un-repress your emotions and then we can talk about......

Scallion

The worst civil tragedy to happen in the U.S.: Getting rid of the Starbucks everything bagel bites

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 5, 2021March 5, 2021

March 5, 2021March 5, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag When I got back to Fredonia, I knew the first thing I wanted to do was order some everything bagel bites from Starbucks because they absolutely slap. I think we can all agree on at least that much, unless you’re gluten intolerant or something. Sorry. However, when......

Scallion

So, you wanna get ready for “WandaVision?”

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 4, 2021March 4, 2021

March 4, 2021March 4, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag So you wanna get ready and watch “WandaVision” like the other hip cool guys? But you haven’t watched all the Marvel movies that lead up to it. Well, don’t worry, we here at The Scallion gotcha covered! I watched every single Marvel movie in order to......

[OPINION] “Search for Meaning”

Pick a card, any card: Students premiere tarot art depictions

[SATIRE] SUNY Fredonia’s “Minors” email sparks panic

Lacrosse sets sights on Puerto Rico, playoffs

Fredonia mayor threatens to call National Guard for this year’s…

Attacks on diversity, equity and inclusion continue

[OPINION] Lovercolumn: Sex Symbols in Media

[SATIRE] “A Sitdown With Brock” season premiere gets leaked

5th Quarter Column: Why Has it Become Harder to Watch…

Roommates release song on Valentine’s Day in support of domestic…

[SATIRE] Why are dogs not allowed to take Fredonia classes?

The Tickler: Fredonia’s newest sketchy guy

Local man goes into food coma after throwing one-man Pi Day rave

Horoscopes

I amalgamated my friends into a hivemind to be COVID safe

[SATIRE] (Inspiring!) Local child works in sweatshop to afford hospital bill

[SATIRE] Conservative convention planners shape floor layout into a Hindu symbol of prosperity

Horoscopes

The worst civil tragedy to happen in the U.S.: Getting rid of the Starbucks everything bagel bites

So, you wanna get ready for “WandaVision?”