The Scallion - Page 21 of 88 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

[SATIRE] Finding (and kissing?) the Mason arsonist! Hot drama!

Contributor to The LeaderApril 23, 2021April 23, 2021

April 23, 2021April 23, 2021

Reading Time: 3 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag In case you didn’t know, in 2019 someone was setting fire to Mason Hall garbage cans. From my understanding, and from the police blotters (not the Scallion ones but those work too for the most accurate police blotters), they reported at least five fires started in Mason.......

Scallion

[SATIRE] What is hiding inside of Thompson Hall? An investigation

Contributor to The LeaderApril 19, 2021April 19, 2021

April 19, 2021April 19, 2021

Reading Time: 3 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag While many of Fredonia’s mysteries may remain that way for a while, (the list goes on, but I’ll just quietly mention the Mason arsonist so I don’t have to talk about the dog food smell) I have one that I solved through the course of one day.......

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Stop saying I look like Jonah Hill 😡

Contributor to The LeaderApril 14, 2021April 12, 2021

April 14, 2021April 12, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesBRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag Hi guys, it’s me, Brian Cecala, local hero and writer for the Scallion. I was pawing through my fan mail recently (which I get a LOT of) and I noticed a trend. Lots of you guys write in to give me admiration and praise for my......

Scallion

[SATIRE] People need to be nicer to Jeff Bezos. He has money

Contributor to The LeaderApril 9, 2021April 9, 2021

April 9, 2021April 9, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag I’ve noticed a trend going around on the Twitters and the TikToks. I’m giving you a warning now: it’s a little disturbing. It’s called… “Eat the rich.” I think they’re referring to Jeff Bezos, since he is… the rich. I’m here to give my opinion on that......

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[SATIRE] Things at Fredonia that would probably kill Prince Philip

Contributor to The LeaderApril 8, 2021April 9, 2021

April 8, 2021April 9, 2021

Reading Time: 3 minutesBRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag [EDITOR’S NOTE: This article was written a week before and published a day before Prince Philip died. The timing was not intentional, and The Leader staff expresses its best wishes to the royal family.] Prince Philip looks like he’s just barely hanging in there. Google him,......

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[SATIRE] Biden moves to block Panama Canal in act of solidarity with Europe

Contributor to The LeaderApril 8, 2021April 8, 2021

April 8, 2021April 8, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor It was announced on Thursday that President Biden is meeting with his cabinet about the plausibility of forcing a stop in the Panama Canal. Experts say it seems like this action is supposed to parallel the recent blocking of the Suez Canal, which recently wrapped up......

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Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderApril 4, 2021April 4, 2021

April 4, 2021April 4, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM God of the Ocean (I still don’t know the order, and at this point I’m too afraid to ask, so here we go) VIRGO: You’ve got a lot of tension in your neck and shoulders. Take a minute to stretch your muscles a little. TAURUS: I’d like you......

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Horoscopes, special edition: Scallywag Brian Cecala’s old Facebook photos

Contributor to The LeaderApril 3, 2021March 30, 2021

April 3, 2021March 30, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces...

Scallion

Fredonia announces new football team

Contributor to The LeaderApril 2, 2021April 2, 2021

April 2, 2021April 2, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesRYAN DUNNINGWeb Editor You asked for it, and now it’s finally here: Fredonia is getting a football team! Because it was announced in the Fredonia Campus Report email from last week, it is likely that nobody heard about this development, but no need to worry, we have you covered. We......

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[SATIRE] The Great Lake Avengers are coming to the MCU

Contributor to The LeaderApril 2, 2021April 2, 2021

April 2, 2021April 2, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesNIKKI INDELICATO Special to the Leader BREAKING NEWS: Recent rumors surrounding the greatest group of Avengers of all time have been confirmed by Marvel President Kevin Feige: the Great Lake Avengers will finally be making their debut in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The story follows Mr. Immortal (played by Djimon......

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[SATIRE] Finding (and kissing?) the Mason arsonist! Hot drama!

[SATIRE] What is hiding inside of Thompson Hall? An investigation

Stop saying I look like Jonah Hill 😡

[SATIRE] People need to be nicer to Jeff Bezos. He has money

[SATIRE] Things at Fredonia that would probably kill Prince Philip

[SATIRE] Biden moves to block Panama Canal in act of solidarity with Europe

Horoscopes

Horoscopes, special edition: Scallywag Brian Cecala’s old Facebook photos

Fredonia announces new football team

[SATIRE] The Great Lake Avengers are coming to the MCU