The Scallion - Page 21 of 84 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

Horoscopes: The signs as Scallion articles

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 21, 2021February 21, 2021

February 21, 2021February 21, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag Guess what everyone! This is my 10th time writing the horoscopes!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!! In honor of this MOMENTOUS occasion, I have decided to read literally every Scallion article written in 2020 and choose one for each sign!!!!!!!!!! Isn’t that fun???????? Also it means I get to do......

Scallion

[SATIRE] How to make friends with the coronavirus, a step-by-step guide

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 18, 2021May 4, 2021

February 18, 2021May 4, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Over the winter break, I’ve had time to think about my friends — who is a real friend, who wants to be my friend and who needs a friend. The more I think about it, the more I realize some people are very lonely and that hurts......

Scallion

Kayne can still win the election! Don’t give up!

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 17, 2021February 17, 2021

February 17, 2021February 17, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag You IDIOTS did it again, huh? You squandered the election to some idiots. The two party system fails the will of the people. Polls showed that over 90 percent of Americans wanted Kanye West for the presidency. Before you fake-news fans say it — yes, that......

Scallion

An open dialogue: Union Ghost vs. High School Student

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 17, 2021February 15, 2021

February 17, 2021February 15, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag We are here at the Scallion always to further intelligent discussion. In light of the ever-ongoing topic of the Confederate flag within America, I have invited the ghost of the Union Colonel Eugene B. Beaumont. Beaumont trained soldiers in Washington in 1861 and received a medal......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 16, 2020November 16, 2020

November 16, 2020November 16, 2020

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag Aries: You will become complacent these next 4 years. <3 Taurus: Stop being mean to your hot gamer gf. :/ Gemini: You’re boolin. Everything will stay the same. 🙂 Cancer: You will get a 4 for 4 this week. At the red-head girl place. Leo: Someone......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Ranking the Supreme Court’s fashion sense

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 16, 2020November 15, 2020

November 16, 2020November 15, 2020

JAY BYRONGuest Scallywag Uh oh! Fashion police! You read the title. Buckle up, fashionistas. We are going hard today on these current Supreme Court members to do the judging they need done for them. For the purposes of this article, I will pretend not to really know them well. Everyone’s......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Exclusive interview with the guy who has Hunter Biden’s laptop

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 14, 2020December 4, 2023

November 14, 2020December 4, 2023

BRIAN CECALA Guest Scallywag The Laptop that’s been the center of controversy for one week, which at the current pace of politics today is long gone dead news, has been brought to Fredonia where the world’s leading intellectuals could examine it’s contents. Conservatives talking heads have warned their viewers of......

Scallion

The Scallion reviews the 2020 Election: Wait, what the f*ck just happened?

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 13, 2020November 13, 2020

November 13, 2020November 13, 2020

JOSEPH MARCINIAKEditor of the Scallion After a tumultuous campaign, sources have called the 2020 election for Joseph R. Biden Jr., king of the crab people. The lord of all crab people, Biden, gave a rousing speech where he said “All people are equal under the law, and you can go......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 8, 2020November 8, 2020

November 8, 2020November 8, 2020

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag Aries: have a glass of wine aries, you deserve it!! unless you are not of age. if you’re not 21, then you deserve tap water. sorry, i don’t make the rules. i just enforce them. Taurus: i bet you were one of the kids who sent......

Scallion

Rating how much I want to hold the hands of the Willy C’s screen silhouettes

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 7, 2020November 7, 2020

November 7, 2020November 7, 2020

JAY BYRONGuest Scallywag You know as well as I do how good hand-holding is, unless you’ve never held anyone’s hand. You live a sad life. I would offer my hand, but it’s COVID-19 time and I don’t really wanna touch you. I also don’t know who you are. Hand-holding is......

5th Quarter Column: Quell the Raven

5th Quarter Column: Fifth Time’s a Charm?

Buffalo Bandits look to snatch third straight title

Why do gamers play games they hate?

Campus Life and Student Affairs unveil policy regulating on-campus assemblies

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What to get each sign

Holding space for the new Wicked movie: A review

[SATIRE] I hate Kia Souls

Why Dunkin’ Donuts is better than Tim Hortons, from the…

Apple Music vs. Spotify, coming from a person who has…

Horoscopes: The signs as Scallion articles

[SATIRE] How to make friends with the coronavirus, a step-by-step guide

Kayne can still win the election! Don’t give up!

An open dialogue: Union Ghost vs. High School Student

Horoscopes

[SATIRE] Ranking the Supreme Court’s fashion sense

[SATIRE] Exclusive interview with the guy who has Hunter Biden’s laptop

The Scallion reviews the 2020 Election: Wait, what the f*ck just happened?

Horoscopes

Rating how much I want to hold the hands of the Willy C’s screen silhouettes