The Scallion - Page 22 of 88 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

[SATIRE] Why learning a second language is probably not a good idea

Contributor to The LeaderApril 2, 2021April 2, 2021

April 2, 2021April 2, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesCHLOE KOWALYK Staff Writer It would be awful to learn a second language. Take it from a gal who knows. Research suggests that learning another language helps improve memory. Why would I want to do that? To make room for more memories like my last prom date rejection? No thank......

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[SATIRE] A letter from the WHAT: Fredonia immunity and you

Contributor to The LeaderApril 2, 2021March 30, 2021

April 2, 2021March 30, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesLYDIA TURCIOS Guest Scallywag Salutations, students! To the student body of SUNY Fredonia comes breaking news from the World Headquarters for Alternate Treatment. If you cannot get your hands on any of the currently available COVID-19 vaccines, you’re in luck! Your campus is under review to be an immunity hotspot!......

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[SATIRE] Dumpster on campus mistaken for conceptual art piece

Contributor to The LeaderApril 1, 2021April 1, 2021

April 1, 2021April 1, 2021

Reading Time: < 1 minuteALYSSA BUMPLife & Arts Editor The dumpster behind Gregory Hall (yes… that dumpster) has drawn in a flock of art critics to campus. This latest piece was thought to be one of the most innovative sculptures on campus yet. I know what you’re thinking, how could anything be more innovative......

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BRIAN CECALA IS THE NEW CHIEF OF FREDONIA U.P. AND HE HAS NEW RULES

Contributor to The LeaderApril 1, 2021March 30, 2021

April 1, 2021March 30, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesBRIAN CECALA KING OF FREDONIA WHAT’S UP ASSH*LES. FOR APRIL FOOLS POLICE NOTTERS, THE CHIEF OF POLICE SAID I COULD BE THE POLICE CHIEF AND HE WOULD WRITE A FUNNY ARTICLE. HOWEVER, I PULLED AN APRIL PRANK. I HAVE STATED SOME NEW RULES FOR ALL FREDONIA STUDENTS. NEW RULE 1......

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[SATIRE] Admin debates how to tell President Kolison about FredFest

Contributor to The LeaderApril 1, 2021March 30, 2021

April 1, 2021March 30, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesJAMES MEAD Editor, Barely Managing to Write This Semester Well, it’s almost that time of the semester, and FredFest is on everyone’s minds — everyone but SUNY Fredonia’s new president, that is. FredFest, an annual Fredonia tradition where college students raise money in support of their unhealthy alcohol habits, was......

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Music Review: “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 31, 2021March 31, 2021

March 31, 2021March 31, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesHANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag We all know it. Some of us hate it. It gives us a flashback to the early days of internet memes. No, it’s not the Nyan Cat song. It is the one and only, “Never Gonna Give You Up.” According to KnowYourMeme.com, Rickrolling is a classic......

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[SATIRE] Look out Fredonia Twitter, The Leader’s making some changes

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 31, 2021March 30, 2021

March 31, 2021March 30, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Editor of the Scallion and MtS fanboy To say that the internet is a mixed bag would be an understatement. There are trolls and memers, there are political extremists getting into scraps with everyday citizens and most importantly, there are spheres of fandom that revolve entirely around the......

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Rating NBA players based on their hairlines

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 30, 2021March 30, 2021

March 30, 2021March 30, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesGRIFFIN DOMBROSKE Special to The Leader I suppose I should preface this with the fact that I am in no way well-versed in any Hockey team and their players. That being said, I have decided to rate their performance in the NBA based solely off of how broke their hairline......

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Wow, Hannah’s writing a real article for once? I didn’t even know that was possible.

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 30, 2021March 30, 2021

March 30, 2021March 30, 2021

Reading Time: < 1 minuteHANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag Yes, you read that title correctly. No horoscopes for me this week. They were hijacked from me by other members of the Scallywag crew. I’m so upset that I just started writing this article so that maybe they’ll give them back to me. Please guys, I......

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[SATIRE] Government sneaks vaccine into American cheese

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 30, 2021March 30, 2021

March 30, 2021March 30, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesJULES HOEPTING Design Editor They weren’t going to be happy. My fingers curled around the edge of the podium, I looked at people in blazers with tape recorders aimed at me. They were all six feet apart from each other, but it felt like they were six inches from my......

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[SATIRE] Why learning a second language is probably not a good idea

[SATIRE] A letter from the WHAT: Fredonia immunity and you

[SATIRE] Dumpster on campus mistaken for conceptual art piece

BRIAN CECALA IS THE NEW CHIEF OF FREDONIA U.P. AND HE HAS NEW RULES

[SATIRE] Admin debates how to tell President Kolison about FredFest

Music Review: “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley

[SATIRE] Look out Fredonia Twitter, The Leader’s making some changes

Rating NBA players based on their hairlines

Wow, Hannah’s writing a real article for once? I didn’t even know that was possible.

[SATIRE] Government sneaks vaccine into American cheese