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Fredonia NY
April 26, 2025
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 Theater kids are taking over Fredonia

Rating every 2025 Oscar award-winning movie 

President Trump signs orders dismantling eight departments 

[SATIRE] Fear and Loathing in Talladega: A Journey to Beer-Soaked…

[SCALLION/NEWS] Campus bus leaves students traumatized

[SATIRE/NEWS] Police Notters

Executive Vice President and Provost Dr. David Starrett abruptly leaves…

[SATIRE] Abigail Jacobson, news editor, cancels news

[SCALLION/SPORTS] Volz enlisted to help suffering Sabres

[SCALLION/NEWS] All hail the new era: The Scallion has taken…

The Leader
Scallion

[SATIRE] Apple unveils new Water, Earth and Fire properties

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor On Sept. 15, Apple unveiled the new generation of iPad, the newly-upgraded iPad Air.  Tech nerds and Steve Jobs fanboys around the world were blown away by the initial announcement, but they failed to hear the more life-changing announcement that immediately followed it. It had......
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Scallion

Don’t worry guys, we don’t have to protest anymore: Fredonia put out a vague statement again, we’re good.

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Fredonia is struggling. From the first week of classes, several protests have taken place, fighting for causes such as accountability for sexual predators and Black Lives Matter.  It is, however, safe to say that our voices have been heard. The following email was sent to all......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] As if things couldn’t get worse, ex-interim president Hefner has been wandering around campus with a gun

Contributor to The Leader
JAY BYRONGuest Scallywag With all of the commotion going on with COVID-19, non-potable water and general college anxiety, most students are on their toes already. Students are sick and tired of hearing or reading the word “unprecedented.” Shockingly enough, their stress meters have indeed skyrocketed. The reason, of course, is......
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Scallion

Trump says Biden is a bunch of ferrets in a trench coat

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor Once again, Donald Trump has been convinced of an out-of-this-world conspiracy theory that he found on social media. In a recent flurry of tweets, the president makes it clear that he is under the impression that vice president Joe Biden, the 2020 democratic candidate, is......
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Scallion

Uh oh, orange man! Small hands! Cheeto man, hehehe, big baby man! That’s right: Trump

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAKScallion Editor Watch out! Small hands, hehehe! Who do I mean? Big baby man who is orange, who else could I mean but El Presidente, the man behind the pee tape (Got em!), Dongal Tromp!  Orange man, boo! Skin orange! Laugh at orange skin!  Hands? Small. Donald? Drumpf. Eat......
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Scallion

Reanimated rotting bodies of the 32nd Massachusetts of 1864 beat the shit out of Donald Trump

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor In a bizarre twist of fate, President Donald Trump was attacked by the reanimated corpses of a long-dead group of American Union soldiers from the Civil War.  The corpses in question were members of the 32nd Massachusetts Infantry Unit, who served under the also-dead Colonel......
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