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July 24, 2024
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From the Desk of Chloe Kowalyk: Editor in Chief

From the Desk of EJ Jacobs: Life & Arts Editor

From the Desk of Jace Jacobs: Asst. Scallion Editor

From the Desk of Nicole Thorson: Art Director

From the Desk of Henry Domst: Design Editor

From the Desk of Sierra Mills: Chief Copy Editor

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

[OPINION] What COVID-19 inadvertently taught us

ITS unveils stratigic plan for technology

Dr. Kathryn Kendall takes on enrollment

The Leader
Scallion

[Satire] I know everyone’s panicking about this whole coronavirus thing, but has anyone seen my pants?

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAKBumbling Editor of the Scallion Hey everyone, I know we’re all panicked about this coronavirus thing, but I could really use some help with my pants situation. I placed them down somewhere and now I can’t find them!  They’re a pair of Levi’s blue jeans, really nice, size 36-32.......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Governor Cuomo confirms fears on Twitter, says to panic

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAKTrembling and Panicking Editor of the Scallion [RELATED: How the Coronavirus is affecting campus] Well, that’s it folks. Cuomo tweeted on Wednesday morning, “Ah, fuck it. School’s out. #coronavirus”. After careful consideration of this tweet, SUNY has taken this as a cancellation of all classes and a forced evacuation......
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Scallion

I swear to God, if there is even a touch of malarky I’ll give ya a beating you won’t soon forget

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH R. BIDEN Candidate for United States President and Guest Writer (Actually just Joseph Marciniak, Scallion Editor) Folks, this race is getting real serious. Dang nabit, I don’t have time to address all the issues. Well look, I’ve got some pretty strong opponents; they know what they’re doing. And the......
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Scallion

A review of Fredonia School of Music’s tenth annual choral festival

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag There was an undeniable electricity in the air at Fredonia a few weeks ago. This year is the tenth anniversary of the university-wide choral festival, and for such a vital milestone, the faculty decided to go all-out. Members of the various singing ensembles on-campus including College......
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Scallion

‘If three candidates can hold the same office, then there’s no way for Bernie to win the nomination,’ Dems say

Contributor to The Leader
HANNAH BLIDY Guest Scallywag Recently, mainstream news sources like CNN, The New York Times and NBC have been covering the Democratic primary results as they come in. Every state has a different primary date. For example, the New York Democratic primary is April 28. At the end of the primaries,......
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Scallion

Thank God our university is spending time on the real issues, like charging Campus Cryptic

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor After a recent announcement from Campus Cryptic on their Instagram page, students are now aware that the school is pressing charges against Campus Cryptic for graffiti on a wall in the Rockefeller Arts Center. Let us here at the Scallion be the first to say, thank......
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Scallion

University Police accepting fines in the form of points

Contributor to The Leader
DOM MAGISTRO Asst. Scallion Editor Recent studies show that approximately 42.069 (nice) percent of students at Fredonia have committed some form of parking violation on campus while working on their “four” year degree. This is a 200 percent increase from 1985 when college students did not have to pay to......
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