The Scallion - Page 37 of 84 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

Ask Fairy Godmother – Your place to bippity boppity bitch

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 28, 2018August 15, 2019

September 28, 2018August 15, 2019

Dear Loyal Readers, This week ‘tis I writing you the letter as a nice change of pace. I’ve come to learn that many of you are first years as most of the questions I receive pertain to the transition into academia and communal living. Well this week I’m going to......

Scallion

“Protein cold bruh”causes Starbucks boom

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 28, 2018October 1, 2018

September 28, 2018October 1, 2018

DOM MAGISTRO Guest Scallywag Starbucks released its new Protein Blended Cold Brew last month, and the results could not have been better for the corporation. Gym rats and hipsters alike took to the streets, some waiting in lines longer than the gym rats could throw the hipsters. And now,......

Scallion

Trump denies allegations of sending a mass sextto every American’s phone

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 28, 2018August 25, 2019

September 28, 2018August 25, 2019

TRAVIS LEFEVRE Editor in Chief It was a quiet Thursday evening. All was calm until everyone’s phones made a collective ring. What followed was chaos in the streets of America, with citizens using various ways to rid themselves of their eyesight. FEMA has been working on a system that......

Scallion

Ask Fairy Godmother – Your place to bippity boppity bitch

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 20, 2018August 15, 2019

September 20, 2018August 15, 2019

Dear Fairy Godmother, My mom always told me that the friends she made in college were the friends she kept for life. I’m a freshman this year so I was really hoping Mom’s wisdom would prove to be true, but I’m starting to doubt it. I live in a suite......

Scallion

Overly-ambitious freshman already president of four clubs

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 20, 2018

September 20, 2018

JOSEPH MARCINIAK Guest Scallywag At Fredonia, there are over 180 different clubs a student can get involved in. These clubs range drastically, from Chess Club, to the Interactive Theatre Society, to Chemistry Club. With Activities Night almost two weeks in the past, many freshmen are already getting a footing......

Scallion

School Administrators use witchcraft to resurrect Fredonia founders

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 20, 2018

September 20, 2018

AMBROSE BIERCE Former Journalist On the night of Sept. 12, the moon illuminated the immobile figures on Three Man Hill. Beneath their gargantuan feet, a taboo ritual took place to resurrect the great founders of the State University of New York at Fredonia. This year marks the second annual......

Scallion

Off-campus senior prepares for her daily 15-hour parking spot search

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 7, 2018

September 7, 2018

COOPER LINCOLN Parking Lot Enthusiast Packing her trunk to the brim with gear that would make a doomsday prepper proud, Fredonia senior Jamie Dodge leaves her apartment on Southeast Main Street at 6 p.m. on Sunday to make it to class on time for her 9 a.m. class the......

Scallion

Ask Fairy God Mother – Your place to bippity boppity bitch

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 7, 2018

September 7, 2018

Dear Fairy Godmother, I’m new on campus and even though it’s only been a week, I keep seeing this cute girl around. She’s in a bunch of my classes, and whenever I go to Willies she’s in there sitting with her friends. I’ve started going out of my way to......

Scallion

Houghton Hall to be turned into a fully functioning parking garage

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 7, 2018

September 7, 2018

BEATRICE BEEBODY Guest Scallywag Okay so, we all know that classes have started and that means all kinds of sorrow associated with, ya know, being back at school. Despite the existential dread having already started to settle in, there is something about this year that makes it exponentially worse.......

Scallion

A Freshman’s Guide to College

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 7, 2018August 18, 2019

September 7, 2018August 18, 2019

JOSEPH MARCINIAK Guest Scallywag As we, the freshmen, arrive on campus and make our way through several new classes, activities and clubs, we’re given many different tips and advice on how to survive our four year college experience. While a lot of this advice sounds nice, a lot of......

Humans steal jobs created for AI: The irony of automation…

[SATIRE] Megan’s Sports Roundup: Sports from someone who DEFINITELY knows…

Professor Peter Tucker reflects on his time at Fredonia

Trumps wins 2024 presidential election

Fredonia’s violinist David Rose performs from the heart

[SATIRE] Horoscopes and it’s the same but I’m an alum…

The ‘surprisingly chaotic’ Canadaway Creek

Digging into the impact of Fredonia’s faculty cuts

From EBC to Tiki: Fredonia staple changes ownership

Reviving community through leadership on the field

Ask Fairy Godmother – Your place to bippity boppity bitch

“Protein cold bruh”causes Starbucks boom

Trump denies allegations of sending a mass sextto every American’s phone

Ask Fairy Godmother – Your place to bippity boppity bitch

Overly-ambitious freshman already president of four clubs

School Administrators use witchcraft to resurrect Fredonia founders

Off-campus senior prepares for her daily 15-hour parking spot search

Ask Fairy God Mother – Your place to bippity boppity bitch

Houghton Hall to be turned into a fully functioning parking garage

A Freshman’s Guide to College