The Leader
Scallion

‘We’re ignorian Dorian’ Trump puts the hurricane in time out

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesDOM MAGISTRO Assistant Scallion Editor As we enter the month with the largest number of hurricanes on average, tropical storms become stronger and stronger. This includes the first ever hurricane to reach Category 5, according to President Trump. In September 2017, Hurricane Irma hit the US, the first of four......
Scallion

Heartwarming: When this student was feeling shy and didn’t want to socialize, this heroic RA forced them to do icebreakers

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Get out your tissues, this one’s a tear jerker! Julia Freedman, a shy freshman just starting at Fredonia, wasn’t really in the mood to socialize and just wanted to get the hall meeting over with. But the heroic RA of Nixon Hall, Patricia Stronghold, decided she......
Scallion

What’s that, Fredonia? What do YOU think of the burning of the Amazon rainforest?

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor   George Greenback, junior hiding with a lampshade over your head major “I can’t really worry too much. I bought some Crayola crayons the other week. Did you know they plant a tree every time you buy one of their products? I mean c’mon, that’s self......
Scallion

Willy C’s develops theft-proof ordering method

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesDOM MAGISTRO Staff Scallywag   Welcome back to Fredonia, you disgusting criminals. Willy C’s is open for business now with improved theft-prevention measures. Everything from the ordering method to the floorplan and even the name is designed to prevent you from getting your bag of chips and drink for free,......
Scallion

Janitors of Fenton Hall unable to get prior President Virginia Horvath’s door open, reportedly hearing loud screeches from inside

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor   According to recent reports from janitors working within Fenton Hall, they are unable to open the door to the previous president’s office. The door is not locked, but appears to boarded or blocked shut. Firefighters are planned to break in later today.  Mr. John Clean,......
Scallion

Police refuse to give us information

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesSOPHIA MOORE Staff Scallywag   The police have decided they don’t negotiate with journalists. The Police Notters series was officially canceled after a long battle with University Police. Their only response to our inquiry about new information was “We’re not home.” An entire police force claimed they weren’t home, at......

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