NICHOLAS NIHILIST Staff Nihilist   Dear nihilist, My girlfriend is constantly controlling every aspect of my life. Like, at first it was small favors here and there, and I didn’t mind. That was five years ago and now I am hiding in a closet, pretending that I am looking for......

JACLYN SPIEZIA Staff Scallywag   When children started speaking out after the Parkland mass shooting, including recently at the March for Our Lives, lawmakers were concerned that young children had well-formed opinions. “Just because people lost family members and friends due to gun violence doesn’t mean they have the right......

MORGAN HENDERSON and EMMA PATTERSON Staff Scallywag and Editor of the Scallion   To the poor broken body I have the current misfortune of inhabiting (AKA Paul), First of all, I’ve had enough of all of you. Every day it’s the same thing. Every time spring break rolls around I......