The Scallion - Page 40 of 85 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

Trump schemes with long lost twin to get North and South Korea back together: “Donald, you and I are like . . . twins!”

Contributor to The LeaderMay 9, 2018September 9, 2019

May 9, 2018September 9, 2019

EMMA PATTERSON Editor of The Scallion A disturbing but otherwise entertaining series of events has resulted in President Donald Trump accidentally reuniting with his long-lost twin brother, Donald 2, at summer camp. Though their relationship was initially bumpy — “The guy dumped chocolate syrup all over my head,”......

Scallion

The Scallion Psychic’s predictions for the last month of classes

Contributor to The LeaderMay 6, 2018August 16, 2019

May 6, 2018August 16, 2019

GILCHRIST SHIPTON Staff Scallywag Oh, how the time has flown by! It feels like just yesterday we were looking in from the beginning of the semester. As this semester comes to an end, the events that will precede have come to me in much more clarity than before, and......

Scallion

Local Fredonia homeowners prep for incoming Fred Fest

Contributor to The LeaderMay 2, 2018

May 2, 2018

PATRICK BENNETT Staff Scallywag Few things in Fredonia are certain. There’s a wonderful academic atmosphere, $3 wells at BJ’ws on Saturday, fist fights over vegan chip dip and Fred Fest. Fred Fest grants an opportunity for students to let loose (and maybe catch a charge in doing so).......

Scallion

“Destress for Success” initiative: “Sleep” pods in library that simulate the sweet release of death

Contributor to The LeaderMay 2, 2018

May 2, 2018

JACLYN SPIEZIA and ALBERTO GONZALEZ Staff Scallywags This year during Study Week, formerly known as Dead Week, there will be a new feature at the library. Yes, you heard me right. Now introducing sleep pods! Now, you can destress as you feel your blood turn cold and body decay......

Scallion

‘It was a humbling experience, watching him yodel his little heart out’: In turn of events, Kid Ink opens for famous yodeling Walmart boy

Contributor to The LeaderMay 2, 2018September 1, 2019

May 2, 2018September 1, 2019

TRAVIS LEFEVRE Seasoned Scallion The crowd filled up the Steele Hall Fieldhouse with a line going back to the edge of campus — wait, that was just Tim Hortons. The line was long, is the point here. However, they weren’t here for Kid Ink. In a last minute turn......

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May declared national *NSYNC month

Contributor to The LeaderMay 2, 2018

May 2, 2018

JACOB LOGRIVER Rejected band frontman It’s been meme’d to hell and back; so much so, that it has been recognized by the federal government who has officially declared the month of May “National *NSYNC month.” To celebrate this momentous move, the mayor of New York City issued an......

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Peaches Maloney’s desperate attempt at fame Fredonia student aims to be Insta famous

Contributor to The LeaderApril 25, 2018

April 25, 2018

PATRICK BENNETT Staff Scallywag Fredonia marketing major, Peaches Maloney, recently made desperate attempts to try and become Instagram famous after breaking up with his beloved girlfriend Debbie McIntyre, who he used to date on-and-off for a five-year period in high school. “This will show her that I’m a real......

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Trump appoints Mr. Krabs as new treasury secretary

Contributor to The LeaderApril 25, 2018August 25, 2019

April 25, 2018August 25, 2019

JACLYN SPIEZIA Staff Scallywag The newest member of the White House is . . . wait, you won’t be able to guess who it is! That’s because it is Mr. Krabs, a goddamn fictional character! When real people are not to trust, Trump decided he’d stop “draining the swamp”......

Scallion

The FBI reveals what they found under Michael Cohen’s bed: ‘It is beyond description’

Contributor to The LeaderApril 25, 2018August 25, 2019

April 25, 2018August 25, 2019

MORGAN HENDERSON Staff Scallywag The FBI searched Michael Cohen’s hotel room a few days ago in search of evidence that he bribed people in the sex industry for Donald Trump. They found more than the evidence they were hoping to find. On his bedside table they found pornagraphic magazines......

Scallion

A profile of that one guy panicking in the back of the library

Contributor to The LeaderApril 18, 2018

April 18, 2018

MORGAN HENDERSON Staff Scallywag Chad Ball sits alone in the back corner of the library. Every day. Hands running through his frizzy curls with a look of frustration on his face. His troubles don’t end in the library, though. Right now he’s in the middle of a three-day-long argument......

Theater kids are taking over Fredonia

Rating every 2025 Oscar award-winning movie

President Trump signs orders dismantling eight departments

[SATIRE] Fear and Loathing in Talladega: A Journey to Beer-Soaked…

[SCALLION/NEWS] Campus bus leaves students traumatized

[SATIRE/NEWS] Police Notters

Executive Vice President and Provost Dr. David Starrett abruptly leaves…

[SATIRE] Abigail Jacobson, news editor, cancels news

[SCALLION/SPORTS] Volz enlisted to help suffering Sabres

[SCALLION/NEWS] All hail the new era: The Scallion has taken…

Trump schemes with long lost twin to get North and South Korea back together: “Donald, you and I are like . . . twins!”

The Scallion Psychic’s predictions for the last month of classes

Local Fredonia homeowners prep for incoming Fred Fest

“Destress for Success” initiative: “Sleep” pods in library that simulate the sweet release of death

‘It was a humbling experience, watching him yodel his little heart out’: In turn of events, Kid Ink opens for famous yodeling Walmart boy

May declared national *NSYNC month

Peaches Maloney’s desperate attempt at fame Fredonia student aims to be Insta famous

Trump appoints Mr. Krabs as new treasury secretary

The FBI reveals what they found under Michael Cohen’s bed: ‘It is beyond description’

A profile of that one guy panicking in the back of the library