The Leader
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POLICE NOTTERS

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteALIAH RICHARDS and AMBER MATTICE Guest Scallywag and Managing Editor Wednesday, Sept. 19, 2018 2:13 a.m. There has been many sightings of unoccupied skateboards around campus. Univer­sity Police stated that it might be dangerous and students should proceed with caution. 7:08 p.m. Several students were arrested in Chautauqua Hall thanks......
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Ask Fairy Godmother – Your place to bippity boppity bitch

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesDear Loyal Readers, This week ‘tis I writing you the letter as a nice change of pace. I’ve come to learn that many of you are first years as most of the questions I receive pertain to the transition into academia and communal living. Well this week I’m going to......
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“Protein cold bruh”causes Starbucks boom

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesDOM MAGISTRO Guest Scallywag   Starbucks released its new Protein Blended Cold Brew last month, and the results could not have been better for the corporation. Gym rats and hipsters alike took to the streets, some waiting in lines longer than the gym rats could throw the hipsters. And now,......
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Trump denies allegations of sending a mass sextto every American’s phone

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesTRAVIS LEFEVRE Editor in Chief   It was a quiet Thursday evening. All was calm until everyone’s phones made a collective ring. What followed was chaos in the streets of America, with citizens using various ways to rid themselves of their eyesight. FEMA has been working on a system that......
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Overly-ambitious freshman already president of four clubs

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJOSEPH MARCINIAK Guest Scallywag   At Fredonia, there are over 180 different clubs a student can get involved in. These clubs range drastically, from Chess Club, to the Interactive Theatre Society, to Chemistry Club. With Activities Night almost two weeks in the past, many freshmen are already getting a footing......
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School Administrators use witchcraft to resurrect Fredonia founders

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesAMBROSE BIERCE Former Journalist   On the night of Sept. 12, the moon illuminated the immobile figures on Three Man Hill. Beneath their gargantuan feet, a taboo ritual took place to resurrect the great founders of the State University of New York at Fredonia. This year marks the second annual......

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