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July 24, 2024
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From the Desk of Chloe Kowalyk: Editor in Chief

From the Desk of EJ Jacobs: Life & Arts Editor

From the Desk of Jace Jacobs: Asst. Scallion Editor

From the Desk of Nicole Thorson: Art Director

From the Desk of Henry Domst: Design Editor

From the Desk of Sierra Mills: Chief Copy Editor

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

[OPINION] What COVID-19 inadvertently taught us

ITS unveils stratigic plan for technology

Dr. Kathryn Kendall takes on enrollment

The Leader
Scallion

Chris Christie: presidential butler

Contributor to The Leader
(Alissa Salem/Staff Illustrator) TRAVIS LEFEVRE Lampoon Editor Americans who have stopped pinching themselves and have snapped back into reality are now keeping a close eye on President-elect Donald Trump’s cabinet appointments. However, the most important position in the President’s cabinet is the same one that no one seems to talk......
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Scallion

States with legal marijuana mysteriously covered in clouds visible from space

Contributor to The Leader
JACLYN SPIEZIA Special to the Lampoon Recent data has shown that Alaska, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, Nevada, Oregon and Washington all cannot be seen from outer space. A researcher has found that smoke clouds are causing these states to be unseen. Even with our advanced technology, the clouds are too......
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Scallion

Biden plans White House traps for Trump

Contributor to The Leader
EMMA PATTERSON Staff Lampoonist After the nightmarish circus that was this year’s presidential election, many Americans feel powerless in the face of the looming Trump administration. While some people have taken to the streets in protest, one high-ranking White House official has a different kind of protest in mind. “Have......
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Scallion

Hillary Clinton announces presidential bids in 2020, 2024, 2028 and so on

Contributor to The Leader
ALBERTO GONZALEZ Special to the Lampoon In grandiose fashion, Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton lost her bid for the White House last week. After giving her concession speech, she seemingly disappeared from the public spotlight. All of the pro-Clinton individuals of the country need not worry, however. She does not......
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