October 27, 2026
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Naloxone becomes available in Gregory Hall

Nation facing a mid-term test

Trump claims leakers ‘should be shot’

AI doesn’t want to take over, it wants your Social…

Student Media, Cornell Incident

LOVERCOLUMN: Legendary Lovers

World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

Issues of Sports Gambling

From Fredonia to New Mexico?  

A playlist for each mood: Yearning  

The Leader
Scallion

Police Notter

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesFORREST ECKERT and JACLYN SPIEZIA Special to the Lampoon and Staff Lampoonist   Thursday, April 20, 2017 On Thursday night, a student was found wandering the road looking into holes. When questioned, the student responded that he was looking for pot.   Friday, April 21, 2017 A ballerina filed a......
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Scallion

Trump revealed as Russian nesting doll

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutes        ALBERTO GONZALEZ Staff Lampoonist   As of recently, it seems like news regarding the White House and President Donald Trump can not go on without also including his possible ties to Russia. This connection has been strengthened with the recent revelations that the FBI is investigating......
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Scallion

Report: College professors out to make your day a living hell: Believe the rumors

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutes      PATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist   After being caught having sexual relations with multiple dinosaurs in the Science Center, freshman biology major Winky Houdini passed out from exhaustion last week. This exhaustion, according to doctors, wasn’t caused by prehistoric coitus but rather a tough workload this semester. Upon......
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Scallion

In retirement, Undertaker finds comfort in gardening: The darkness succumbs to the light

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutes  PATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist   Weighing in at 300 lbs and a towering height of 6 feet 10 inches, WWE’s token weird uncle, The Undertaker, has finally traded in his leather pants for gardening gloves. Since The Undertaker retired from the WWE during the entertainment cash-grab that was “WrestleMania......
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