The Scallion - Page 52 of 88 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

A Spot and A Spell to deliver to campus via carrier owl

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 29, 2017

September 29, 2017

Reading Time: 2 minutesEMMA PATTERSON Assistant Lampoon Editor Food delivery is about to get a whole lot more magical. One of Fredonia’s best Harry Potter-themed cafes, A Spot and A Spell, recently announced its plan to deliver food to campus via carrier owls. The announcement has been met with all-around excitement/joyous hysteria from......

Scallion

It’s a “no way” for Jose: Trump puts the hurricane in timeout

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 13, 2017September 9, 2019

September 13, 2017September 9, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesPATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist The most decorated fight in United States history happened last week. It wasn’t the highly televised and clear cash grab that was the Mayweather-McGregor fight, but rather the fight between hurricane Irma and Jose. Jose ultimately lost the fight as brony and President Donald Trump......

Scallion

New head of NASA announces flat earth truther initiative

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 13, 2017August 25, 2019

September 13, 2017August 25, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesALBERTO GONZALEZ Staff Lampoonist The fresh Trump appointee of the week is now headed over to see what he can do to the NASA program. Jim Birdenstine, an avid climate denier, has now taken the reigns, and he is turning this ship so far into a different direction that......

Scallion

Must-watch fall TV schedule

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 13, 2017

September 13, 2017

Reading Time: 3 minutesEMMA PATTERSON Assistant Lampoon Editor Fall is just around the corner, which obviously means one thing: the return of fall TV! Whether you live for reality shows or prefer to binge-watch every show Netflix has to offer, these seven masterpieces, compiled by a slightly-overtired TV critic, are just what......

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Police Notter

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 13, 2017August 17, 2019

September 13, 2017August 17, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesJASON CHEUNG Web Editor Monday, September 4, 2017 1:42 a.m. A skunk was reported entering Kasling Hall without permission. When questioned, he was afraid and sprayed the main lobby. Students were evacuated and relocated to other dorms. Clement J. Skunk, age 4, is being arrested and charged with criminal......

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Confederate statues replaced with ‘90s television stars

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 6, 2017August 25, 2019

September 6, 2017August 25, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutes EMMA PATTERSON Assistant Lampoon Editor Many southern states announced last week that all confederate statues and monuments will be replaced with ‘90s television stars over the next few days. This announcement was met with little-to-no controversy as a representative from the White House explained the reason behind the......

Scallion

Trump goes on tweet storm about Hurricane Harvey

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 6, 2017

September 6, 2017

Reading Time: 2 minutesALBERTO GONZALEZ Staff Lampoonist Everyone knows that Trump’s Twitter tirades are to be expected when he’s actually aware of something going on in the world. This week, the Lampoon decided to follow Trump’s Twitter feed during Hurricane Harvey: “Someone told me that there was a hurricane coming. Fake News.......

Scallion

Lampoon’s guide to spotting fake news

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 6, 2017August 25, 2019

September 6, 2017August 25, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesJACLYN SPIEZIA Staff Lampoonist With fabrications spinning out of the White House left and right, you need to put on your trench coats, grab your magnifying glasses and start spotting fake news. Rather, you could just learn some of these tricks people at the Lampoon recommend. That’d be cool,......

Scallion

Fredonia campus opens new skatepark: “There’s no way he just landed that”

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 6, 2017

September 6, 2017

Reading Time: 2 minutes PATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist As of last week, Fredonia students embarking on their daily walk from McEwen to the Williams Center will now be offered more gnarly, shred-tastic and tubular spots to skateboard as the pathway has become a full-blown skatepark. Officials at Fredonia have become outraged at......

Scallion

Police Notters

Contributor to The LeaderAugust 30, 2017

August 30, 2017

Reading Time: 3 minutesEMMA PATTERSON Assistant Lampoon Editor Monday, August 28, 2017 Thirty-eight students were rushed to Lograsso Hall in a blind panic Sunday evening, each complaining of sore eyes and sunspots. When one student was asked why he ignored the near-constant warnings circulating the internet about the eclipse, he could only......

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A Spot and A Spell to deliver to campus via carrier owl

It’s a “no way” for Jose: Trump puts the hurricane in timeout

New head of NASA announces flat earth truther initiative

Must-watch fall TV schedule

Police Notter

Confederate statues replaced with ‘90s television stars

Trump goes on tweet storm about Hurricane Harvey

Lampoon’s guide to spotting fake news

Fredonia campus opens new skatepark: “There’s no way he just landed that”

Police Notters