The Scallion - Page 56 of 84 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

In memory of American Decency

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 3, 2016August 25, 2019

November 3, 2016August 25, 2019

D. ZBORNAK Staff Lampoonist U.S. citizens across the country are mourning the long-anticipated death of American Decency. While its stamina was sort of up in the air for quite some time, American Decency had undoubtedly experienced an astronomical drop in strength this past year. American historians had initially predicted......

Scallion

The Lampoon endorses David S. Pumpkins for president

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 3, 2016August 25, 2019

November 3, 2016August 25, 2019

EMMA PATTERSON Staff Lampoonist It’s no secret that this presidential election has been, in short, exhausting. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump have been met with either lukewarm acceptance or alarming reverence from voters, resulting in this being the first election people under the age of 30 have actually cared......

Scallion

Who wore it better?: A presidential fashion analysis

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 3, 2016August 25, 2019

November 3, 2016August 25, 2019

PATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist Whether you’re wearing a fanny pack with mom jeans combo or a camo hoodie with matching camo Crocs, you’re showing people what you’re all about (even though we’d rather not know you if you’re wearing camo Crocs). This past week, the Lampoon was determined to......

Scallion

Election Rigging 101: How to rig your local polling station: God knows we need it

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 27, 2016August 25, 2019

October 27, 2016August 25, 2019

Patrick Bennett Staff Lampoonist In the next couple of weeks, an event will take place that will shape the American people. This isn’t even the announcement that Big Macs will be sold again for $1 on Mondays, it’s the presidential election. The two candidates, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, are......

Scallion

Julian Assange leaks emails via postcard

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 27, 2016August 25, 2019

October 27, 2016August 25, 2019

Alberto Gonzalez Special to the Lampoon Julian Assange is back in the headlines for his continued effort to fight off the united bureaucratic agencies of the world. This most recent development of the continued efforts to disrupt the political system of the world’s policeman, also known as the U.S., has......

Scallion

Outrage: Award winners deemed disqualified by public

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 27, 2016

October 27, 2016

Jaclyn Spielzia Special to the Lampoon Bob Dylan winning the Nobel Prize for Literature has sparked much debate, as he is well known as a musician, and unlike someone such as Stephanie Meyer, author of the “Twilight” series, he does not write for a living — although maybe Meyer shouldn’t......

Scallion

Tips for dealing with post-midterm self doubt (PMSD)

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 27, 2016

October 27, 2016

D. Zbornak Staff Lampoonist With midterm week over and out, many students are feeling the effects of crushed self-esteem and caffeine-fueled study marathons. From the freshmen all the way through to the super seniors, chances are good that the recent exams have most people questioning their majors, abilities, career goals,......

Scallion

The Lampoon’s guide to Spring 2017 courses

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 27, 2016

October 27, 2016

Kilgore Trout Guest Lampoonist Now that you’ve failed all of your midterm exams, it’s time to think about everyone’s favorite subject: taking more classes. Unless your Powerball numbers finally get called, you’re going to have to endure yet another semester of forgetting about assignments and testing what “excused absence”......

Scallion

Galaxy Note 7 ignites more controversy

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 19, 2016

October 19, 2016

ALBERTO GONZALEZ Special to the Lampoon Right when Android users thought that the nightmare was over, sparks are flying, and iPhone users are getting the last laugh — until 11 months from now, when they are shelling out hundreds of dollars again for the next phone that......

Scallion

Weaving a new future: Underwater basket weaving becomes hottest new course

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 19, 2016

October 19, 2016

PATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist Every year, students meet with their advisers to select the courses that best suit them for the next semester. During this interaction, the same dad joke has been told after a course selection standstill: “I can take underwater basket weaving!” The success rate in......

Humans steal jobs created for AI: The irony of automation…

[SATIRE] Megan’s Sports Roundup: Sports from someone who DEFINITELY knows…

Professor Peter Tucker reflects on his time at Fredonia

Trumps wins 2024 presidential election

Fredonia’s violinist David Rose performs from the heart

[SATIRE] Horoscopes and it’s the same but I’m an alum…

The ‘surprisingly chaotic’ Canadaway Creek

Digging into the impact of Fredonia’s faculty cuts

From EBC to Tiki: Fredonia staple changes ownership

Reviving community through leadership on the field

In memory of American Decency

The Lampoon endorses David S. Pumpkins for president

Who wore it better?: A presidential fashion analysis

Election Rigging 101: How to rig your local polling station: God knows we need it

Julian Assange leaks emails via postcard

Outrage: Award winners deemed disqualified by public

Tips for dealing with post-midterm self doubt (PMSD)

The Lampoon’s guide to Spring 2017 courses

Galaxy Note 7 ignites more controversy

Weaving a new future: Underwater basket weaving becomes hottest new course