The Scallion - Page 62 of 82 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

The dangers of being sarcastic after college Man shot, but he sort of asked for it

Contributor to The LeaderApril 17, 2016September 2, 2019

April 17, 2016September 2, 2019

TRAVIS LEFEVRE Assistant Lampoon Editor In a dramatic turn of events, a man was shot in his shoulder after a conflict in a bar. The victim, 22-year-old Jason Daville, was described as “sarcastic and had it comin’.” Old Main Inn, a popular watering hole in Fredonia, saw a heavy......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderApril 17, 2016August 15, 2019

April 17, 2016August 15, 2019

MISSY FEOLA Staff Lampoonist Aries It’s time to face the cold, dark truth: Winter is never-ending. Summer will never come. It is the winter of your life, so bundle up and shut up about the sun. Taurus Buy yourself some dog food air fresheners for your car for......

Scallion

Move ova’, ’Nova Syracuse wins March Madness

Contributor to The LeaderApril 17, 2016

April 17, 2016

PATRICK BENNETT Special to the Lampoon With less than five seconds left on the clock, University of North Carolina (UNC) tied the game against Villanova. It was the championship game. The end of March Madness. It was every dad with two kids and a wife in the suburbs’ favorite......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderApril 7, 2016August 15, 2019

April 7, 2016August 15, 2019

PATRICK BENNETT Lampoon Aries It doesn’t matter if you bought a strobe light and neon clothing. Nobody is going to show up to the rave in your dorm room. Clean your mini fridge; maybe after the stench is gone people will come. Taurus Be careful maneuvering on......

Scallion

Hillary’s ‘inevitability’ runs out Clinton drops out of presidential race to knit sweaters

Contributor to The LeaderApril 7, 2016August 25, 2019

April 7, 2016August 25, 2019

THE FEVER Assistant Lampoonist In an M. Night Shyamalan style plot twist, Hillary Clinton has announced that she has dropped out of the presidential race, despite being the frontrunner for the democratic nomination. The shocking announcement came in the form of a live stream from her home in Chappaqua,......

Scallion

Fashion show cancelled for Caucasian Awareness Day No one is amused

Contributor to The LeaderApril 7, 2016September 1, 2019

April 7, 2016September 1, 2019

JESSICA D’NONSENS Lampoonist The Black Student Union (BSU) Fashion Show traditionally encourages creativity through diversity on Fredonia’s campus. But this year, Fredonia will celebrate the same thing America cherishes every single day — white people. A new group on campus, Caucasian Student Union (CSU), has determined that the BSU......

Scallion

A story in each wrinkle Move over, Dad; the grandpa bod is in

Contributor to The LeaderApril 7, 2016

April 7, 2016

MISSY FEOLA Staff Lampoonist What’s better than a dad bod? We’ll tell you: a grandpa bod. If you are lucky enough to have a grandpa bod, consider yourself blessed. Girls and guys alike will flock to you day and night. Nothing is more irresistible than a fully wrinkled and......

Scallion

Entering the ark two by two Extreme weather forces mass export of students

Contributor to The LeaderApril 7, 2016

April 7, 2016

RAVIOLI Staff Lampoonist A long-appreciated quirk of Fredonia is its unpredictable weather, which never fails to keep students on their toes. But opinions change, and with a presumably inevitable flood on the way, students are implementing an ingenious plan to relocate to a calmer climate — they’re building a......

Scallion

Spring Break was Cancelled, but apparently nobody knew.

Contributor to The LeaderApril 1, 2016

April 1, 2016

MISSY FEOLA Staff Lampoonist Well, this is awkward. Apparently the school was so preoccupied with all of the Academic Affairs emails that it completely forgot to announce that Spring Break was cancelled this year. Don’t believe me? Why don’t you ask all of the teachers that were still here......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderApril 1, 2016August 15, 2019

April 1, 2016August 15, 2019

Aries Midterms got you down? That’s alright. At least you don’t have to worry about disappointing your parents; they’ve been disappointed for a while. Taurus You may get catcalled on your way home from Fred Mart. Lunge at your assailants with the full fury of the heavens. ......

From the Desk of Chloe Kowalyk: Editor in Chief

From the Desk of EJ Jacobs: Life & Arts Editor

From the Desk of Jace Jacobs: Asst. Scallion Editor

From the Desk of Nicole Thorson: Art Director

From the Desk of Henry Domst: Design Editor

From the Desk of Sierra Mills: Chief Copy Editor

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

[OPINION] What COVID-19 inadvertently taught us

ITS unveils stratigic plan for technology

Dr. Kathryn Kendall takes on enrollment

The dangers of being sarcastic after college Man shot, but he sort of asked for it

Horoscopes

Move ova’, ’Nova Syracuse wins March Madness

Horoscopes

Hillary’s ‘inevitability’ runs out Clinton drops out of presidential race to knit sweaters

Fashion show cancelled for Caucasian Awareness Day No one is amused

A story in each wrinkle Move over, Dad; the grandpa bod is in

Entering the ark two by two Extreme weather forces mass export of students

Spring Break was Cancelled, but apparently nobody knew.

Horoscopes