The Leader
Scallion

Weaving a new future: Underwater basket weaving becomes hottest new course

Reading Time: 2 minutes  PATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist   Every year, students meet with their advisers to select the courses that best suit them for the next semester. During this interaction, the same dad joke has been told after a course selection standstill: “I can take underwater basket weaving!” The success rate in......
Scallion

After a presidential fail, Trump opens the Toasty Trumpettes

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutes  D. ZBORNAK Staff Lampoonist   With the second presidential debate completed, Americans are growing optimistic that Hillary Clinton will save the country from sure destruction by the Donald. After having the stamina sucked out of him by two women and a gay man this past Sunday, Trump has decided......
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Many students sick from drinking after the second presidential debate

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutes    JACLYN SPIEZIA Special to the Lampoon               Many millennials are struggling with the idea of whether or not they should vote, and if so, for whom. Although many thought that watching the debates would be a good idea in helping with their decision, they were only able to get......
Scallion

Make America Bald-Win again: Trump gets dumped for ‘SNL’ caricature artist

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesEMMA PATTERSON Staff Lampoonist   It seems Hillary Clinton isn’t Donald Trump’s only competition this election season. After Alec Baldwin’s spot-on impersonation of the Republican Presidential nominee in the season 42 premiere of  “Saturday Night Live,” Trump supporters everywhere have abandoned their leader in favor of Baldwin’s “more bigly” version......
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Lampoon Investigation: Are hurricanes bad for you?

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutesPATRICK BENNETT Staff  Lampoonist   This past week, Hurricane Matthew has ravaged the countries of the Caribbean and the southern coast of the United States. The Lampoon stood in front of the television screen, scratching their chins and thinking to themselves, “Are hurricanes harmful to your health?” Staff member and......
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Death by debate 47 percent of voters reportedly die of boredom after VP debate

Reading Time: 2 minutesTRAVIS LEFEVRE Lampoon Editor The vice presidential debate finally received some mainstream attention and proved once and for all that these debates should remain irrelevant. With such an intense election season, people from all over the world tuned in hoping to see Clinton and Trump’s Mini-Me’s debate like their masters.......

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