The Leader
Scallion

Clinton collapses during 9/11 ceremony, patriotic Americans lose it

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutes  D. ZBORNAK Staff Lampoonist   After Colin Kaepernick’s decision to kneel during the national anthem, there has been an uproar from the population of loyal Americans whining about what it means to be respectful and patriotic in their country. Fuel was only added to the fire after a video......
Scallion

Galaxy Note 7: The U.S. military’s perfect weapon

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesPATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist         Technological powerhouse and company-you-strongly-associate-with-child-labor Samsung has just released the Galaxy Note 7. The Note is a whopping five and some inches, but male customers insist it’s at least six. One haunting discovery concerning the phone is that it could explode into flames at any minute.......
Scallion

The stone-cold war: Obama and Putin engaged in a passive-aggressive war

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesTRAVIS LEFEVRE Lampoon Editor   The United States and Russia have had a long love-hate relationship with one another. Today is no exception. From teaming up in World War II to constantly fearing nuclear war with each other, Presidents Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin have now ushered in a new......
Scallion

Pummeled to the POTUS: Presidency will be determined through a tag team cage match

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesTRAVIS LEFEVRE Lampoon Editor   Get ready for the rumble of a lifetime folks, because “red state” will soon have a whole new meaning. World Wrestling Entertainment has announced that it has signed a contract to determine the next president of the United States. A new approach is being taken......
Scallion

New library printers lead to robot uprising

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesV. RAVIOLI Staff Lampoonist        As is well known to all Fredonia students, the world this past year has been nothing short of a calamity — one disaster after another without any foreseeable sign of resolution. With no hope left for humanity, the long-mocked prophecy of sci-fi writers throughout......

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