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July 23, 2024
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From the Desk of Chloe Kowalyk: Editor in Chief

From the Desk of EJ Jacobs: Life & Arts Editor

From the Desk of Jace Jacobs: Asst. Scallion Editor

From the Desk of Nicole Thorson: Art Director

From the Desk of Henry Domst: Design Editor

From the Desk of Sierra Mills: Chief Copy Editor

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

[OPINION] What COVID-19 inadvertently taught us

ITS unveils stratigic plan for technology

Dr. Kathryn Kendall takes on enrollment

The Leader
Scallion

Fredonia further caters to millennials’ needs, like always New degree program features courses in entitlement, unlearning

Contributor to The Leader
  MISSY FEOLA Staff Lampoonist   Fredonia has just announced a new major in millennial studies, for students who were born between the 1980s and the early 2000s. This major offers courses that focus on how Millennials can be the best they can be, based on their strengths and weaknesses.......
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Scallion

‘Herman’ or ‘Hermit’? Vice President of Student Affairs to retire one year after cancelling FredFest

Contributor to The Leader
RILEY STRAW Lampoon Editor   Dr. David Herman has had a long history with Fredonia. Last year, he received quite a bit of heat for cancelling “Fref Fest,” and sources say he has not lived down the embarrassment. “I didn’t realize how hurtful Fredonia students can be,” said his secretary......
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Scallion

Bernie Sander’s flavored Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream Really tastes like Bernie Sanders!

Contributor to The Leader
TRAVIS LEFEVRE Assistant Lampoon Editor   Ben & Jerry’s has been known for its crazy creative flavors. In a new twist, Ben & Jerry’s co-founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield have done the unthinkable — they made politics sweet. “Sweet” in the literal sense, that is, by making an ice......
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Scallion

Breaking news – a burrito cover-up: Bridge construction turns out to be grave marker, supposedly

Contributor to The Leader
EMMO Staff Lampoonist   It seems these past few semesters that, no matter where you turn on campus, there’s construction going on — Rockefeller, the Science Center and now, the bridge between McEwen and the Williams Center. You may ask yourself, “Will it ever end?” Such a question is like......
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Scallion

Trump to Sanders: ‘You’re Fired!!’ The Donald shoots Sanders, media lets it go

Contributor to The Leader
  JESSICA D’NONSENS Lampoonist   This political season has been ablaze with scandals: from incestuous remarks Donald Trump made about his daughter to “I-Robot” star Hillary Rodham Clinton, and of course the gorgeous (albeit pathetically polling) piece of man-candy that is Martin O’Malley. The only thing we’ve come to expect......
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Scallion

O’Malley accepts defeat, still wants into the White House Presidential candidate aims to be someone’s VP

Contributor to The Leader
  THE FEVER Assistant Lampoonist   When someone mentions Martin O’Malley, the common response is “Who?” Currently in the running for President, the former governor of Maryland has been lost in the ever-growing shadows of Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders since the beginning. With a consistent 2 percent approval rating......
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