The Scallion - Page 74 of 82 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

Fredonia’s Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 29, 2015

September 29, 2015

MISSY FEOLA Special to The Lampoon Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20) Do you feel like you’re being watched lately? Well, it’s because you are. You are currently starring in a spontaneous episode of Big Brother. SURPRISE! Aquarius (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19) What’s that smell? Oh, that’s just......

Scallion

Vigilante faces time after student is arrested under clock tower

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 29, 2015

September 29, 2015

EMMO Special to The Lampoon A local self-proclaimed vigilante, armed with a black painted airsoft gun, illegally detained a Fredonia student (whose name has not been revealed) last Thursday for standing underneath the clock tower near Thompson Hall. The student raised suspicion with Dunkirk “vigilante” Tracy McAdams who says that......

Scallion

As seen on Yik Yak: Gossip Squirrel follows Fredonia’s socialites

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 29, 2015

September 29, 2015

PHYLLIS T. CUPP Lampoonist Over the last few days, Yik Yak has been aghast with news of a squirrel following important Fredonia figures. Gossip Squirrel, as the handle states, is climbing in your windows and snatching your people up. “Is V getting coffee with H? Or is it something......

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The nightmare on Trump Street Bloody Mary folklore also applicable to Donald Trump’s name

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 25, 2015September 9, 2019

September 25, 2015September 9, 2019

DEVON HEADLEY Special to The Lampoon There is a myth that dates all the way back to June 16, 2015. Many people are terrified of this tale — they wouldn’t dare say this man’s name because of the fear of being haunted by his ghastly hairpiece. This tale was......

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Study finds many campus art installations are ugly

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 25, 2015

September 25, 2015

[metaslider id=3252] When I was first starting at Fredonia, I remarked on how lovely the campus was. The grass was green, the stoners were smoking, and the landscape was bare as could be. Seemingly overnight, piles of metal, wood and literal garbage started to appear on campus, and no one......

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Rural Glossary: Fredonia’s version of ‘Urban Dictionary’

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 25, 2015August 18, 2019

September 25, 2015August 18, 2019

THE FEVER Special to The Lampoon Since people are often unsure of how to define certain places around campus, here’s a nifty little dictionary to help when someone asks you “What’s that?” Cranston Marche: In the upper level of the University Commons, this all-you-can-eat buffet serves breakfast, lunch......

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From oil change to oil paint Former drunk bus follows artistic passions

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 25, 2015

September 25, 2015

EMMO Special to The Lampoon Named after former Pittsburgh Steeler running back and Hall-of-Famer Jerome “The Bus” Bettis, Jerome Thestreets, better known as “the drunk bus,” quit unexpectedly from his position as the weekend nighttime transportation at Fredonia. “I’m tired of it! Too many nights I’ve dealt with barely-conscious idiots......

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CAPRA CORN Lampoon Astrologist

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 25, 2015

September 25, 2015

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20) Be mindful of the choices you make for food this week, Capricorn. Do not eat El Diablo on Wednesday: it will come back on Thursday with a vengeance. Aquarius (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19) The odds are not in your favor this week. Do......

Scallion

As seen on Yik Yak: Fredonia’s new Silkworm Spa set to open Oct. 14 of this year

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 25, 2015

September 25, 2015

MISSY FEOLA Special to The Lampoon You heard the rumors first on Yik Yak, and they are 120 percent true. Fredonia is, in fact, opening a new silkworm spa. It is scheduled to open on Oct. 14 of this year, and the spa will be located in the building that......

Scallion

Kentucky County Clerk Kim Davis to get fourth divorce

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 17, 2015August 25, 2019

September 17, 2015August 25, 2019

PHYLLIS T. CUPP Lampoonist #DoYourJob has recently been trending on Twitter. This was an excellent reminder that there are some people in this country who get paid to sit around and not do their jobs. I was also reminded that I haven’t had a shift at the local strip......

From the Desk of Chloe Kowalyk: Editor in Chief

From the Desk of EJ Jacobs: Life & Arts Editor

From the Desk of Jace Jacobs: Asst. Scallion Editor

From the Desk of Nicole Thorson: Art Director

From the Desk of Henry Domst: Design Editor

From the Desk of Sierra Mills: Chief Copy Editor

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

[OPINION] What COVID-19 inadvertently taught us

ITS unveils stratigic plan for technology

Dr. Kathryn Kendall takes on enrollment

Fredonia’s Horoscopes

Vigilante faces time after student is arrested under clock tower

As seen on Yik Yak: Gossip Squirrel follows Fredonia’s socialites

The nightmare on Trump Street Bloody Mary folklore also applicable to Donald Trump’s name

Study finds many campus art installations are ugly

Rural Glossary: Fredonia’s version of ‘Urban Dictionary’

From oil change to oil paint Former drunk bus follows artistic passions

CAPRA CORN Lampoon Astrologist

As seen on Yik Yak: Fredonia’s new Silkworm Spa set to open Oct. 14 of this year

Kentucky County Clerk Kim Davis to get fourth divorce