The Scallion - Page 75 of 88 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

Bioengineered water-type Pokémon to replace orcas: Lapras, Gyarados and Blastoise to be featured in new SeaWorld exhibit

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 18, 2015

November 18, 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutesPHYLLIS T. CUPP Lampoonist A sigh of relief fell over moral Americans when SeaWorld announced it would be releasing its captive killer whales back into the wild last week. Since the release of the documentary “Blackfish,” SeaWorld has had a difficult time rationalizing the murders of several of its......

Scallion

Fallout Fever ‘Fallout 4’ released, players gone missing

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 18, 2015

November 18, 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutesTHE FEVER Staff Lampoonist After selling a whopping 12 million copies in just one day, “Fallout 4” has made history, even beating out the highly popular “Grand Theft Auto V.” Along with 12 million copies, there have been 12 million missing persons reports filed worldwide since the game’s release,......

Scallion

Inclusive Starbucks cup designs: The Lampoon leaves no religion behind

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 18, 2015August 25, 2019

November 18, 2015August 25, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutes EMMO Staff Lampoonist Starbucks’ decision to drop all Christmas-related symbols from its cup design has a certain kind of customer very unhappy. Enraged by the “politically correct” environment, devout Christians cannot fathom a Starbucks throw-away cup without candy canes, snowflakes, ornaments and all the festive, glittery nonsense that......

Scallion

10-hour wait at Tim Hortons Line spans from Williams Center to Fenton Hall

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 10, 2015

November 10, 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutesMISSY FEOLA Staff Lampoonist Fredonia is only a few people away from making it into the Guinness Book of World Records for having the longest line ever at a Tim Hortons. At 2 p.m. on Nov. 8, it was recorded that the line for the on-campus Tim Hortons had......

Scallion

Bethesda to release ‘explosive’ DLC The real-life ‘Fallout 4’ experience

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 10, 2015August 25, 2019

November 10, 2015August 25, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesTHE FEVER Staff Lampoonist War never changes. Not even with the release of a new video game. With “Fallout 4” officially released yesterday, it only seemed appropriate to celebrate in Fallout fashion — with nuclear strikes. In a surprise press conference, Todd Howard, Bethesda Game Studios game director and......

Scallion

Trick-or-treating brings ecstasy Halloween candy laced with drugs

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 10, 2015

November 10, 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutesCHARLES PRITCHARD Staff Writer Halloween has come and gone, and there’s only one question on everyone’s lips: how much ecstasy did kids really end up with in their goody bags? A number of candies, which look like everything from smarties to knock-off gummy bears, have been popping up lately,......

Scallion

Would you kill these babies? New York Times poll sparks questions of infant mortality

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 10, 2015August 25, 2019

November 10, 2015August 25, 2019

Reading Time: 3 minutesEMMO Staff Lampoonist A couple weeks ago The New York Times asked its readers what they would do when faced with a purely theoretical ethical dilemma. Their question? “If you could go back in time and kill baby Hitler, would you do it?” Interestingly enough, the top answer was......

Scallion

America outdoes China United States creates 15-child policy

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 10, 2015August 25, 2019

November 10, 2015August 25, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutes PHYLLIS T. CUPP Lampoonist Since 1979, China’s one-child policy tilted the scales of birth. Some may say, “But Phyllis! There’s more than one child in China! That policy must not have been effective!” Those people, however, are misinformed. This one-child policy dictated that parents could have no more......

Scallion

Fancy Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 10, 2015August 15, 2019

November 10, 2015August 15, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesAries It’s time to find a new outlet for your bottled rage, Aries. Regina George from “Mean Girls” cannot be your role model forever. Unless, of course, you want to join the women’s lacrosse team. That seemed to do wonders for her. Taurus Alright, we get it,......

Scallion

Anonymous looks under the hood Hacktivist group accuses politicians of KKK involvement

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 10, 2015

November 10, 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutesTHE FEVER Staff Lampoonist The gloves are off — or the hoods, rather. With the hacktivist group Anonymous releasing a list of politicians alleged to be involved in the Ku Klux Klan, the public was eager to hear whatever denial the political figures would come up with. Gov. Ray......

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Bioengineered water-type Pokémon to replace orcas: Lapras, Gyarados and Blastoise to be featured in new SeaWorld exhibit

Fallout Fever ‘Fallout 4’ released, players gone missing

Inclusive Starbucks cup designs: The Lampoon leaves no religion behind

10-hour wait at Tim Hortons Line spans from Williams Center to Fenton Hall

Bethesda to release ‘explosive’ DLC The real-life ‘Fallout 4’ experience

Trick-or-treating brings ecstasy Halloween candy laced with drugs

Would you kill these babies? New York Times poll sparks questions of infant mortality

America outdoes China United States creates 15-child policy

Fancy Horoscopes

Anonymous looks under the hood Hacktivist group accuses politicians of KKK involvement