The Scallion - Page 73 of 88 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

Breaking news – a burrito cover-up: Bridge construction turns out to be grave marker, supposedly

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 2, 2016

February 2, 2016

Reading Time: 2 minutesEMMO Staff Lampoonist It seems these past few semesters that, no matter where you turn on campus, there’s construction going on — Rockefeller, the Science Center and now, the bridge between McEwen and the Williams Center. You may ask yourself, “Will it ever end?” Such a question is like......

Scallion

Trump to Sanders: ‘You’re Fired!!’ The Donald shoots Sanders, media lets it go

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 2, 2016September 9, 2019

February 2, 2016September 9, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutes JESSICA D’NONSENS Lampoonist This political season has been ablaze with scandals: from incestuous remarks Donald Trump made about his daughter to “I-Robot” star Hillary Rodham Clinton, and of course the gorgeous (albeit pathetically polling) piece of man-candy that is Martin O’Malley. The only thing we’ve come to expect......

Scallion

Newest Jonas brother kills 27

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 2, 2016

February 2, 2016

Reading Time: 2 minutes MISSY FEOLA Staff Lampoonist On Jan. 21, the world was cursed with a fifth Jonas brother. With him, he brought a great amount of fury in the form of a terrible snowstorm. Nick, Joe, Kevin and Frankie Jonas were excitedly awaiting the arrival of their newborn brother. They......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderJanuary 26, 2016August 15, 2019

January 26, 2016August 15, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutes MISSY FEOLA Staff Lampoonist Aries You will wake up in the morning feeling like you can take on the world. You will start saying things like, “The world is my oyster!” Well, it’s not. And you can’t take on the world, that’s my job. Go back to bed.......

Scallion

O’Malley accepts defeat, still wants into the White House Presidential candidate aims to be someone’s VP

Contributor to The LeaderJanuary 26, 2016August 25, 2019

January 26, 2016August 25, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutes THE FEVER Assistant Lampoonist When someone mentions Martin O’Malley, the common response is “Who?” Currently in the running for President, the former governor of Maryland has been lost in the ever-growing shadows of Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders since the beginning. With a consistent 2 percent approval rating......

Scallion

An outsider’s guide to surviving WNY snow

Contributor to The LeaderJanuary 26, 2016

January 26, 2016

Reading Time: 2 minutes MISSY FEOLA Staff Lampoonist Many ill-prepared, new-to-the-area Western New Yorkers do not make it out of the winter months alive. That is why this guide to winter survival is probably the most important article that you will read in your entire existence. How do you think Olaf......

Scallion

Lessons that America could learn from North Korea

Contributor to The LeaderJanuary 26, 2016August 25, 2019

January 26, 2016August 25, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesTHE FEVER Assistant Lampoonist America: Land of the free, home of the brave. For 240 years, our country’s culture and lifestyle has been based off the principles of the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights. However, “It’s been a long time coming, but I know a change......

Scallion

Fey or Palin? Who really endorsed Trump in Iowa?

Contributor to The LeaderJanuary 26, 2016August 25, 2019

January 26, 2016August 25, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesEMMO Staff Lampoonist Last week, notorious Republican presidential candidate Donald J. Trump brought out the infamous — or famous, depending on your political views — Sarah Palin to endorse him at the Iowa rally. Unbeknownst to Trump, and everyone else at Iowa State, some people over at NBC had......

Scallion

The truth comes out: Trump bullied as child by Muslims

Contributor to The LeaderDecember 10, 2015August 25, 2019

December 10, 2015August 25, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesTRAVIS LEFEVRE Assistant Lampoon Editor After coming under fire for his proposal to keep Muslim-Americans under surveillance, Republican frontrunner Donald Trump came out and admitted the fuel behind his bigoted fire; he was bullied by Muslim children in middle school. In light of the recent attacks from ISIS and......

Scallion

Salvation Army Santas advocate for ‘change’

Contributor to The LeaderDecember 10, 2015

December 10, 2015

Reading Time: 3 minutesRILEY STRAW Lampoon Editor ‘Tis the season to be jolly, and what’s more jolly than fat, bearded men accosting supermarket shoppers for spare change? They’re not the homeless or your extended, alcoholic family members on Christmas Eve; I’m talking about the one of many Santa Clauses we’ll see when......

Naloxone becomes available in Gregory Hall

Nation facing a mid-term test

Trump claims leakers ‘should be shot’

AI doesn’t want to take over, it wants your Social…

Student Media, Cornell Incident

LOVERCOLUMN: Legendary Lovers

World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

Issues of Sports Gambling

From Fredonia to New Mexico?

A playlist for each mood: Yearning

Breaking news – a burrito cover-up: Bridge construction turns out to be grave marker, supposedly

Trump to Sanders: ‘You’re Fired!!’ The Donald shoots Sanders, media lets it go

Newest Jonas brother kills 27

Horoscopes

O’Malley accepts defeat, still wants into the White House Presidential candidate aims to be someone’s VP

An outsider’s guide to surviving WNY snow

Lessons that America could learn from North Korea

Fey or Palin? Who really endorsed Trump in Iowa?

The truth comes out: Trump bullied as child by Muslims

Salvation Army Santas advocate for ‘change’