The Scallion - Page 80 of 84 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

It so cold, scientists say

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 18, 2015

February 18, 2015

ANITA TENSION Special to the Lampoon Confirming the suspicions of many Fredonia residents, scientists announced the results of an extensive study Monday, which indicated that it is extremely cold outside right now. Citing the pronounced rosiness of their cheeks and runniness of their noses, the scientists concluded that the likeliest......

Scallion

The Lampoon presents this week’s horoscope

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 18, 2015

February 18, 2015

ANNE ARKY Special to the Lampoon Aries: You’re on fire! This is your week, Aries. In seven days you’ll look back on what you accomplished and say, “Man, I sure achieved great things this week — though nowhere near as great as the ascension of Sultan Murad IV to the......

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How to anonymously survive your 50 Shades of Grey viewing

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 18, 2015

February 18, 2015

SARA WILD Special to the Lampoon Admit it. You’re sickened, but curious. It’s been the buzz for what seems like years now. You have to see if it’s going to live up to all this hype, but no one can know. Never fear, no one has to know. Just follow......

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Horoscopes by Gemma Nye

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 11, 2015

February 11, 2015

Capricorn (22 Dec-20 Jan) February is your month Capricorn! You will be very successful with reeling in the bae’s if you are in the market for some lovin. If not, I’m sorry but you’re just gonna have to stay inside because the hotties will be all over you like bees......

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Disgruntled campus PR head wonders if it would be appropriate to reveal Erie dining hall founded on 3,000-year- old blood sacrifice ritual

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 11, 2015

February 11, 2015

MEL N. KOLICH Special to the Lampoon It’s no secret that it is hard to eat healthy on campus. Students dissatisfied with current food options are again wondering why Erie Dining Hall was closed over two years ago as campus food options continue to dwindle. Flames of the increasingly popular......

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New class spotlight LART 160: Pursuit of Trivia

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 11, 2015August 25, 2019

February 11, 2015August 25, 2019

TARA DACTYL Special to the Lampoon Losing a game of Trivia Crack may be one of the saddest moments one can experience. Coming in last at Ellicott Brewing Company or Wing City Grille’s trivia can ruin a person’s entire week. Getting question after question incorrect can really do a number......

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Many a libation to be had in local ale-houses

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 4, 2015

February 4, 2015

SAMUEL PEPYS Special to the Lampoon Shamed though I am to admit it, I must confess to having found myself possessed of a terrible thirst for wine and revelry this last Thursday. I tightly gathered my woolen cloak about my shoulders and ventured out into the publick streets of Fredonia......

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The Lampoon presents: this week’s horoscope

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 4, 2015

February 4, 2015

RITA PAEPER Special to the Lampoon Aries: An opportunity for personal growth will present itself soon. Unfortunately, it will do so in the form of some asshole who sits behind you in class and mouth-breathes heavily onto the back of your neck. Refrain from making a grisly scene and you......

Scallion

New fraternity, ‘Jama Pie, to debut on activities night

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 4, 2015

February 4, 2015

ANITA TENSION Special to the Lampoon This semester’s activities night, where on-campus organizations court prospective members, will feature several new groups. Among these, the one generating the most buzz is a new fraternity, ‘Jama Pie,” which bills itself as an inclusive, “chill community for people who just want to hang......

Scallion

Longboard profile: meet “The Fastest Longboarder”

Contributor to The LeaderDecember 10, 2014

December 10, 2014

ANITA TENSION Special to The Lampoon “Sometimes all you want to do is just get on your board and go, you know?” These are the words of a Fredonia longboarder, known simply as the “Fastest Longboarder” because he rides his longboard so fast. Estimates place his average velocity somewhere between......

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It so cold, scientists say

The Lampoon presents this week’s horoscope

How to anonymously survive your 50 Shades of Grey viewing

Horoscopes by Gemma Nye

Disgruntled campus PR head wonders if it would be appropriate to reveal Erie dining hall founded on 3,000-year- old blood sacrifice ritual

New class spotlight LART 160: Pursuit of Trivia

Many a libation to be had in local ale-houses

The Lampoon presents: this week’s horoscope

New fraternity, ‘Jama Pie, to debut on activities night

Longboard profile: meet “The Fastest Longboarder”