The Scallion - Page 81 of 88 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

Food dating app encourages students to ‘tap that and go’

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 2, 2015

September 2, 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutesPHYLLIS T. CUPP Lampoonist In the year 2015, technology allows us to find hook ups at the drop of a hat. There’s HER for lesbians; there’s Grindr for gay men; there’s Tinder for us all. But what if all we really want is to get hooked up with food? Administrators......

Scallion

Straight people get offended; gay people no longer allowed civil unions

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 2, 2015September 2, 2019

September 2, 2015September 2, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesPHYLLIS T. CUPP Lampoonist Straight people have long fought for acceptance. This summer, on June 26, when gay marriage became legalized across the country, defenders of the sanctity of marriage were up in arms — and I don’t mean up in the arms of their mistresses. Quickly, straight Americans found......

Scallion

Much merriment made at recent drag show

Contributor to The LeaderMay 7, 2015

May 7, 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutesSAMUEL PEPYS Special to the Lampoon ‘Twas a Wednesday eve like any other, save that it marked, for many, the beginning of the Fredonia Festival — a tradition whereby the inhabitants of the small hamlet which bears the same name imbibe to excess, wear “tie dye,” and conduct the ceremonial......

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Senior chooses ‘Cheesy Friday’ over graduation

Contributor to The LeaderApril 22, 2015

April 22, 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutesTIM DENSMORE Special to the Lampoon Accounting major Joe Schumoe is 12 credit hours away from graduating. With one third of the semester remaining, he has decided he wants to fail. The reason — Cheesy Friday. “I don’t think I’m ready to give up Cheesy Friday,” said Schumoe as he......

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Left Shark reminds world of his relevancy

Contributor to The LeaderApril 22, 2015

April 22, 2015

Reading Time: < 1 minuteSARA WILD Special to the Lampoon The 49th annual Super Bowl last February was watched by millions and won by the New England Patriots, a question which will eventually be asked in the 2030 edition of Trivial Pursuit. What most people remember about the game, however, was the showstealing aquatic......

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FRED Festers to channel directionless rage into silent one-second eye contact with cop

Contributor to The LeaderApril 22, 2015

April 22, 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutesANNE ARKEY Special to the Lampoon Saying they could no longer stand idly by while corrupt and domineering powers denied them their right to do whatever they want with absolute impunity, an impassioned band of FRED Festers announced Friday that they would take every opportunity set before them to make......

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Women’s softball continues their winning streak

Contributor to The LeaderApril 16, 2015

April 16, 2015

Reading Time: < 1 minuteBROOKE ATKINS Special to The Leader The lady Blue Devils are at it again. The women’s softball team gained two more SUNYAC wins this Saturday against Oswego. Beating Oswego by a score of 5-2, the start to Fredonia’s comeback came when junior Madeline Medina hit a two-run double, and Fredonia......

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Area woman just going to slip into something comfortable, like the old unhealthy habits she thought she’d abandoned years ago

Contributor to The LeaderApril 16, 2015August 18, 2019

April 16, 2015August 18, 2019

Reading Time: < 1 minuteANNE ARKEY Special to the Lampoon Instructing reporters not to go anywhere, and saying she would be right back, Fredonia student Hannah Mancuso, 21, stepped briefly into the other room Friday in order to slip into something more comfortable — namely the old toxic yet somehow comforting patterns of selfdoubt,......

Scallion

Damning report concludes ultimate frisbee team insufficiently ultimate

Contributor to The LeaderApril 16, 2015

April 16, 2015

Reading Time: < 1 minuteANITA TENSION Special to the Lampoon University officials released a statement Thursday saying that an investigation conducted by the university had concluded that the ultimate frisbee team was just not ultimate enough. “At best,” said a somber representative, “we can call the team ‘super,’ or maybe ‘really great.’ But to......

Scallion

Area customer revealed as funny

Contributor to The LeaderApril 16, 2015

April 16, 2015

Reading Time: < 1 minuteANNE ARKEY Special to the Lampoon After three consecutive attempts to scan the barcode on a case of 12 water bottles failed on Friday, gas station customer Mark Darrow, 43, was struck by a bolt of pure, unadulterated comic genius and put forth the theory that the item must be......

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Food dating app encourages students to ‘tap that and go’

Straight people get offended; gay people no longer allowed civil unions

Much merriment made at recent drag show

Senior chooses ‘Cheesy Friday’ over graduation

Left Shark reminds world of his relevancy

FRED Festers to channel directionless rage into silent one-second eye contact with cop

Women’s softball continues their winning streak

Area woman just going to slip into something comfortable, like the old unhealthy habits she thought she’d abandoned years ago

Damning report concludes ultimate frisbee team insufficiently ultimate

Area customer revealed as funny