The Leader - Fredonia news, sports, satire, and opinion

Reanimated rotting bodies of the 32nd Massachusetts of 1864 beat the shit out of Donald Trump

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 17, 2020September 17, 2020

by Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 17, 2020September 17, 2020

Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor In a bizarre twist of fate, President Donald Trump was attacked by the reanimated corpses of a long-dead group of American Union soldiers from the Civil War. The corpses in question were members of the 32nd Massachusetts Infantry Unit, who served under the also-dead Colonel...

[SATIRE] Top five criminal activities available to you this fall

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 16, 2020September 17, 2020

by Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 16, 2020September 17, 2020

Reading Time: 3 minutesTHALIA MAGISTRO Staff Scallywag Sometimes the desperate need to commit heinous crimes on campus comes to you. I get it. Filthy criminals like you don’t stop, and why should you? That’s why I’ve compiled a list, in no particular order, of the top five ways you can get put in...

Welcome to Hendrix: A firsthand account of quarantine at SUNY Fredonia

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 16, 2020September 16, 2020

by Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 16, 2020September 16, 2020

Reading Time: 8 minutesJAMES MEAD Managing Editor Lauren Jenkins is a first-year student at SUNY Fredonia. Coming to Fredonia from out-of-state, she was excited to get out of her house and experience college. Yet four weeks later, she had to be quarantined. She followed all of the safety guidelines — masks on campus,...

A day in the life of a performing arts student during COVID-19

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 15, 2020September 15, 2020

by Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 15, 2020September 15, 2020

Reading Time: 3 minutesCARLY SUMMERSON Special to The Leader Students across the country, regardless of grade level, have been adjusting to the new normal of online learning. For college students especially, there are many majors that can be easily accommodated to virtual lessons. However, there are several that are dependent on in-person classes...

[Column] This week in COVID

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 15, 2020September 15, 2020

by Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 15, 2020September 15, 2020

Reading Time: 3 minutesALISA OPPENHEIMER News Editor This week in COVID, while the rate of positive COVID cases is decreasing in speed, the number of cases is still steadily rising every day. On Monday, Sept. 7, Fredonia’s total number of positive cases was at 73. By Tuesday our positive cases went up by...

[OPINION] “Positive”

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 15, 2020September 15, 2020

by Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 15, 2020September 15, 2020

Reading Time: 4 minutesALYSSA BUMPLife & Arts Editor “Positive” A one-word Snapchat. In my head I wondered, “Positive? What’s that even supposed to mean?” I would say that is a pretty inconsiderate way of telling someone that you have COVID-19, but maybe that’s just my personal opinion. I sit in my dorm room...

Horoscopes, 9/12

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 12, 2020September 12, 2020

by Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 12, 2020September 12, 2020

Reading Time: < 1 minuteHANNAH BLIDYStaff Scallywag aries: corona got you down? check out scorpio for some tips 🙂 !! taurus: you deserve a drink for everything you’ve been dealing with. obviously an age-appropriate non-alcoholic drink if you’re under 21. maybe like a capri sun or something. gemini: (italian accent) i got a pizza...

[SATIRE] Too soon guys: Scarlett Johansson takes Black Panther leading role

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 12, 2020September 15, 2020

by Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 12, 2020September 15, 2020

Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor Following the tragic passing of legendary screen actor Chadwick Boseman, Marvel Studios had once again screwed the pooch by making a choice in very poor taste. It was announced on Friday that Scarlett Johansson would resume the role of King T’Challa in the Marvel Cinematic...

I have fettuccine Fingers! Hear me roar!

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 11, 2020September 11, 2020

by Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 11, 2020September 11, 2020

Reading Time: < 1 minuteANONYMOUSGuest Scallywag Behold, I am the one with a tasty, delectable pasta for Fingers. You cannot escape me. I am real, and I am here, right behind you! My Fingers are soft yet slippery, in a square shape, like how the horrible fettuccine is prepared. When noon arrives, I use...

Why esports are sports

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 11, 2020September 22, 2020

by Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 11, 2020September 22, 2020

Reading Time: 2 minutesIVAN TORRES Special to The Leader In recent years, the esports community has gained a huge following in a short amount of time. The success of esports can be attributed to streaming platforms such as Twitch and Youtube. Not only did these platforms help, but first-person shooter games such as...

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Reanimated rotting bodies of the 32nd Massachusetts of 1864 beat the shit out of Donald Trump

[SATIRE] Top five criminal activities available to you this fall

Welcome to Hendrix: A firsthand account of quarantine at SUNY Fredonia

A day in the life of a performing arts student during COVID-19

[Column] This week in COVID

[OPINION] “Positive”

Horoscopes, 9/12

[SATIRE] Too soon guys: Scarlett Johansson takes Black Panther leading role

I have fettuccine Fingers! Hear me roar!

Why esports are sports