Donald Trump

If you can’t beat them, join them: Top Republicans abandon the GOP

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 12, 2016August 25, 2019

September 12, 2016August 25, 2019

TRAVIS LEFEVRE Lampoon Editor In this election year, every day ushers some new and wild story. After months of a rocky and uncertain alliance, prominent members of the Republican Party have decided to change their voter registration to the Democratic Party. Prominent conservatives like House Speaker Paul Ryan and......

Opinion

Election 2016: Jill Stein is no Bernie Sanders

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 2, 2016September 2, 2019

September 2, 2016September 2, 2019

JAMES LILLIN Staff Writer Currently averaging a 3.6 percent on the RealClearPolitics aggregate of major national polls, Jill Stein is helping the Green Party reach new heights of popularity and recognition, considering it hasn’t broken .4 percent of the final electoral vote since Ralph Nader ran in 2000. Stein has......

News

Conservative Corner: searching for the perfect VP

Contributor to The LeaderMay 5, 2016August 16, 2019

May 5, 2016August 16, 2019

CONNOR HOFFMAN Assistant News Editor After the last few primaries, the focus of the election has shifted to the general election. Who the nominees will pick as their running mates has been a hotly contested issue in the media lately. This election will be a very close one, and......

Scallion

Donald Trump slams The Onion, vomiting, everything else

Contributor to The LeaderMay 5, 2016September 9, 2019

May 5, 2016September 9, 2019

THE FEVER Assistant Lampoonist Donald Trump has a knack for calling out the dishonesty of the media. Out of this, he has created massive appeal, especially from millionaire and undercover Sith Lord Carl Paladino. No news outlet is safe from the Donald’s lashing out at their dishonesty. Not even......

Scallion

The Trumpacabra: fact or fiction?

Contributor to The LeaderApril 22, 2016August 25, 2019

April 22, 2016August 25, 2019

PATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist Human tangerine and outhouse Donald Trump went missing over the weekend. He was last seen eating at a Little Caesars with his wife, Melania Trump, in southern Texas. On Monday, a phone call was received by the Lampoon. The area code was Mexican in nature.......

Scallion

‘Wait, who?’ John Kasich unveils new campaign slogan

Contributor to The LeaderApril 22, 2016August 25, 2019

April 22, 2016August 25, 2019

THE FEVER Assistant Lampoonist After months of campaigning with very little to show for it, presidential candidate John Kasich has revealed a new slogan for his campaign: “Wait, who?” Like that one friend in the back seat who’s constantly trying to join the conversation, Kasich has been in the......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderApril 17, 2016August 15, 2019

April 17, 2016August 15, 2019

MISSY FEOLA Staff Lampoonist Aries It’s time to face the cold, dark truth: Winter is never-ending. Summer will never come. It is the winter of your life, so bundle up and shut up about the sun. Taurus Buy yourself some dog food air fresheners for your car for......

Opinion

Editorial: For the love of America, vote in the primary

Contributor to The LeaderApril 17, 2016September 2, 2019

April 17, 2016September 2, 2019

All planners, agendas, calendars should have the date, April 19, circled, starred, highlighted. After all, it’s the day every good citizen, and Facebook news feed, has been waiting for: the New York Presidential Primary Election. Will it be Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton as the democratic presidential candidate? Could......

News

Trump the tyrant Violence at Trump rallies escalates, Trump condones

Contributor to The LeaderApril 7, 2016August 18, 2019

April 7, 2016August 18, 2019

CONNOR HOFFMAN Assistant News Editor The President is supposed to be a person who can unite the nation and not cause division and violence. Donald Trump has made me quite worried lately with the hateful and violent energy at his rallies, and how he has dismissed — or even......

Scallion

Sarah Palin withdraws Trump endorsement Pro-Sanders polar bear attacks Palin household

Contributor to The LeaderApril 1, 2016August 25, 2019

April 1, 2016August 25, 2019

TRAVIS LEFEVRE Assistant Lampoon Editor Three things are now certain in life: Death, taxes and the fact that whenever Sarah Palin makes a public appearance, no one needs to make fun of her — she just does it on her own. There are never any exceptions to this rule,......

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If you can’t beat them, join them: Top Republicans abandon the GOP

Election 2016: Jill Stein is no Bernie Sanders

Conservative Corner: searching for the perfect VP

Donald Trump slams The Onion, vomiting, everything else

The Trumpacabra: fact or fiction?

‘Wait, who?’ John Kasich unveils new campaign slogan

Horoscopes

Editorial: For the love of America, vote in the primary

Trump the tyrant Violence at Trump rallies escalates, Trump condones

Sarah Palin withdraws Trump endorsement Pro-Sanders polar bear attacks Palin household