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May 19, 2024
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The Leader

Political Humor

Scallion

‘If three candidates can hold the same office, then there’s no way for Bernie to win the nomination,’ Dems say

Contributor to The Leader
HANNAH BLIDY Guest Scallywag Recently, mainstream news sources like CNN, The New York Times and NBC have been covering the Democratic primary results as they come in. Every state has a different primary date. For example, the New York Democratic primary is April 28. At the end of the primaries,......
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Scallion

Bernie Sanders wants to get rid of the one percent — yes, even one percent milk

Contributor to The Leader
HANNAH BLIDY Guest Scallywag We all know how passionate Bernie Sanders is about taxing the wealthy. According to his website, if he becomes President, he will implement a policy taxing the extremely wealthy. This tax would be annual for households who make over $32 million per year. In other words,......
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Scallion

Jeb Bush DOMINATES Iowa Democratic Primary caucus, receiving 100 percent of delegates

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Editor of the Scallion In a surprising landslide in the Iowa Democratic Primary, 100 percent of delegates were pledged to Jeb Bush. Many believed it was due to errors in the app they used, but the DNC has confirmed that Jeb Bush has won. Many Democrats are outraged,......
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Scallion

“Wait you’re wearing a MAGA hat as a social experiment? That’s so profound, please have sex with me right now.”

Contributor to The Leader
DOM MAGISTRO Staff Scallywag Fredonia, NY – Charles Watts was seen wearing a red hat with the famous slogan “Make America Great Again” printed in large block letters on it around campus. Watts walked confidently across campus Thursday morning, alone. Known to be a very social person and rarely, if......
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Scallion

Pelosi: ‘Concentration camps acceptable, but we draw the line at investigating Biden’

Contributor to The Leader
DOM MAGISTRO Assistant Scallion Editor An impeachment inquiry has begun as a result of a whistleblower complaint. The whistleblower complains that Trump asked the Ukranian prime minister to investigate Biden. Pelosi and House Democrats draw the line there. No one messes with Joe. “There are just some actions that are......
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Scallion

Better late than never: Here’s what went down at the Democratic Presidential Debate in June

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Twenty candidates for the Democratic ticket for president went head-to-head in June, and it was intense. We’re super late, but here’s some highlights from that debate if you still care. Arguably the most important person running, Bill de Blasio, probably said something about beating Donald Trump.......
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Scallion

“You have to do this, Joe” God says to Biden during political rally

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Well, the old fogie is at it again.  Former Vice President Joe Biden recently revealed in an interview with the Scallion that during his rally in Poughkeepsie, God appeared to tell him that he has to take on Trump alone.  “It was a miracle. There I......
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Scallion

Gotta admit, he’s got guts: Trump tears off clothes for people standing outside of White House fence

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Well, you can’t get angry at him for this one. President Trump recently walked to the fence outside of the White House, alarming members of the secret service, and tore his clothes off “down to his undies” reports said. Not even mad; guy has got some......
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Scallion

What’s that, Fredonia? What do YOU think of the burning of the Amazon rainforest?

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor   George Greenback, junior hiding with a lampshade over your head major “I can’t really worry too much. I bought some Crayola crayons the other week. Did you know they plant a tree every time you buy one of their products? I mean c’mon, that’s self......
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Scallion

Trump baffles climate change scientists with tweet asking “Where’s global warming?”

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Assistant Editor of the Scallion   A recent tweet from President Trump has baffled climate change scientists and brought them into a panic. Climate change scientists have begun questioning everything they thought they knew. The tweet was simple, but effective. President Trump said, “Real cold in the North......
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