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May 19, 2024
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The Leader

Political Humor

Scallion

United States hit with a literal ‘blue wave’ on Election Day

Contributor to The Leader
TRAVIS LEFEVRE Editor in Chief   On Tuesday, voters took to the polls to elect their representatives. MAGA hats and pussy hats flood middle school gynasiums all over the country until they became flooded with something else: water. The United States of America was momentarily submerged when a literal blue......
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Scallion

Trump schemes with long lost twin to get North and South Korea back together: “Donald, you and I are like . . . twins!”

Contributor to The Leader
  EMMA PATTERSON Editor of The Scallion   A disturbing but otherwise entertaining series of events has resulted in President Donald Trump accidentally reuniting with his long-lost twin brother, Donald 2, at summer camp. Though their relationship was initially bumpy — “The guy dumped chocolate syrup all over my head,”......
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Scallion

Mar-A-Lago: Where Russian operatives are at your service: Trump’s latest oblivious nightmare (or success?)

Contributor to The Leader
PATRICK BENNETT Staff Scallywag   This past weekend, affluent members of the esteemed Palm Beach Mar-a-Lago were surprised to learn that their stay was magnificent, due to the hard work of Russian operatives posing as butlers. “When we booked our overnight stay at the resort we were met with beautiful......
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Scallion

Donald Trump is lava because he is literally “untouchable”

Contributor to The Leader
JACKIE SPIEZIA Staff Scallywag   When Donald Trump decided to run for president, many people began waiting for him to trip on the thin ice he had already been skating on. That entertaining spectacle, however, has yet to happen. Although it was originally thought improbable that he would actually become......
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Scallion

Trump’s aides are no match for the terrible twos

Contributor to The Leader
EMMA PATTERSON Assistant Scallion Editor   It was all hands on deck at the country’s busiest day-care center — the White House — this weekend. The president’s aides were determined to do whatever they could to keep everyone’s favorite man-child, Donald Trump, away from everyone’s favorite psycho, Vladimir Putin, at......
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Scallion

Trump dedicates golf trophy to Puerto Rico

Contributor to The Leader
DOMINIC MAGISTRO Special to The Scallion   After Marshall Mathers’ scathing freestyle of his policies, President Donald Trump released a press statement announcing that his newest trophy from Mar-A-Lago would be dedicated to the victims of the disastrous series of hurricanes which struck Puerto Rico recently. Minutes after the press......
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Scallion

It’s a “no way” for Jose: Trump puts the hurricane in timeout

Contributor to The Leader
PATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist   The most decorated fight in United States history happened last week. It wasn’t the highly televised and clear cash grab that was the Mayweather-McGregor fight, but rather the fight between hurricane Irma and Jose. Jose ultimately lost the fight as brony and President Donald Trump......
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Scallion

Video surveillance shows Obama tap dancing on Trump’s landline

Contributor to The Leader
        JACLYN SPIEZIA Staff Lampoonist   Multiple citizens reportedly saw a man tap dancing on one of President Donald Trump’s landlines the other morning. After reviewing video surveillance, it has been discovered that the very man tapping his toes on Trump’s wire was former President Barack Obama.......
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