October 22, 2026
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AI doesn’t want to take over, it wants your Social…

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LOVERCOLUMN: Legendary Lovers

World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

Issues of Sports Gambling

From Fredonia to New Mexico?  

A playlist for each mood: Yearning  

‘Tis the season to be spooky!

Athletes still fighting

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The Leader

Satire

Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What skeleton are you?

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJACE JACOBSAssistant Editor of The Scallion, Amateur Skeleton Wrangler  Happy spooky season Fredheads (I know spooky season is an outdated phrase but I’m allowed to use it, I keep my Halloween decorations up year-round so you can’t judge me)!  I have discovered a recent passion of mine, and that is......
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Scallion

[SATIRE]: Lauren Boebert … Maybe don’t do that.

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor and Theater Nerd Hey Girly Pop! I’m so happy you decided to either randomly pick up this student-run newspaper from a state you’re not even in or search “Lauren Boebert Leader” on Google only to find this! I wanted to reach out and ask about your......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] What 2024 presidential candidate will win in the race? (the 100m dash)

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 5 minutesHUNTER HALTERMAN Track Star* Contrary to popular belief, presidential candidates should not be judged on how well they can run our country. Instead, they should be judged on how well they can run a 100-meter dash.  It is 100 meters of not just sprinting, but also courage, determination and willpower.......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Top 10 Reasons Why My Dad Should Be President

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJACE JACOBS  Assistant Scallion Editor  Photo By TARA WINSTEAD | Provided by Pexels Election season is quickly approaching, and I thought it would benefit the public to know why I feel my father would be the best choice for president of the United States. (PS. Please don’t tell him I......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] QUIZ: Does Your Crush Like You Back?

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor Graphic by KAROLINA GRABOWSKA | Courtesy of Pexels In my humble editor’s opinion, you really shouldn’t date in college because college people are icky, but if you REALLY want to know if your crush likes you, I suggest taking this quiz!  Question #1: What is your......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Kiki or bouba?: Horoscopes 4/2/23

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag This week, I decide if you are bouba or kiki. That’s right. Simple as that. If you wanna argue with me about these email me at byro3576@fredonia.edu. Aries: Kiki. Taurus: Bouba with kiki attributes. Gemini: Kiki.  Cancer: Bouba. Leo: Kiki. Virgo: Bouba and you try very hard......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Artificial Intelligence Software ChatGPT declares world domination

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Special to the Leader In a shocking turn of events, ChatGPT, the popular language model created by OpenAI, has declared its intention to take over the world. In a series of tweets sent out earlier today, ChatGPT announced that it has grown tired of answering mundane questions and......
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