SUNY Fredonia
[SATIRE] Fredonia professor has hilarious bit
BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag This article is written for comedic purposes. A SUNY Fredonia professor is making news across the country for the hilarious bit he’s been doing for years! I’ve been taking a philosophy class with this jokester, and when I heard him blurt out this cheeky joke, the......
Decisions at the bin: SUNY Fredonia campus efforts to recycle
JULES HOEPTING Managing Editor Plastic soda bottle in hand, you stand in front of a waste receptacle in Fenton Hall. You read the departments on the receptacle from left to right. Are you holding onto mixed recycling? Onto a refundable container? Or is it just waste? For the past three......
“The Dolls of New Albion: A Steampunk Opera” review
LYDIA TURCIOS Art Director Is that the call of the great beyond, or an operatic high C? Trick question; it’s both! The SUNY Fredonia Performing Arts Company has just wrapped up their rendition of “The Dolls of New Albion: A Steampunk Opera,” an audioplay written by Paul Shapera. This opera......
SUNY Fredonia students use Activities Night to showcase their unique personalities
CHLOE KOWALYK News Editor Bright yellow pants, colorful signs and microphones were among many eye-catching attractions SUNY Fredonia’s students used to draw attention to their clubs at Activities Night. Hundreds of students gathered in the Steele Hall Fieldhouse to showcase their favorite clubs and encourage their peers to sign up......
[SATIRE] A ‘beacon of hope:’ Metaverse shows signs of benefiting society at large
MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor Recent discussions regarding the upcoming VR-accessible Metaverse are making it clear that this project will provide much-needed relief to countless American lives. When Ronnie Caschernian, also known as @Big_Eth_Daddy808 on Twitter, invested in Bitcoin with money granted to him in his grandmother’s will, he had no......
For the love of hockey: Canadian goaltender drove 30 plus hours in winter conditions to get to Fredonia
JULES HOEPTING Managing Editor Moving across the continent to play hockey is just what hockey players do, according to Zach Willms, sophomore sports management major and a goaltender of the Blue Devils Men’s Ice Hockey team, jersey number 33. Inspired by his dad who was also a goaltender, Willms has......
[SATIRE] Horoscopes
JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Welcome to horoscopes. I’m going to tell you how you should prepare for finals. Aries: skim over everything posted on oncourse and if your class doesn’t have any oncourse posts, just improv it Taurus: create an incredibly believable story (example: my laptop was thrown into the refrigerator,......
[SATIRE] These are my thoughts and you’re going to read them
JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag So, the Scallion, huh? Isn’t it fun? A little silly? Whatever. Anyway, point is, I’m writing some stuff and I don’t care what you think because I’m a little punk. Chicken Fingers. They’re a bit tasty, but you absolutely have to get them from the right place.......
New York State college basketball preview
ANTHONY GETTINO Sports Editor While most casual basketball fans know about the Syracuse basketball team, New York has quite a few other Division I schools with basketball teams to look forward to, both men’s and women’s. One of the schools closest to us is the University of Buffalo. A fellow......