The Scallion - Page 12 of 83 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

[SATIRE] I’m only holding out for Burger Wednesday

Contributor to The LeaderApril 1, 2022April 4, 2022

April 1, 2022April 4, 2022

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor I’m keeping it real with you, guys. This semester is whopping my whopper. Really, no lie. I’m absolutely befrungled this spring. Bescringled, even. There is only one thing that’s keeping me in the loop, and I’m not alone. Burger Wednesday. Walking into Cranston Marché as a......

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[SATIRE] Disappearance of the ‘FRED’ sign and other stuff that probably doesn’t matter as much

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 31, 2022March 30, 2022

March 31, 2022March 30, 2022

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor Over spring break, while hordes of college students spent way too much money and acted recklessly in public, the FRED sign on campus was taken away, as well as some other things. We’ll cover the other things, but my main priority is the signage to our......

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[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Predicting how your week is gonna go

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 30, 2022March 29, 2022

March 30, 2022March 29, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Welcome back to your favorite article series ever. I’m here to do a classic: predict how your week is gonna go. Aries: It’s your time to shine, Aries, and you know it! The winds are beckoning you. You’re gonna spend some well-deserved time outside, probably near the......

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Comics: Midterms

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 11, 2022March 9, 2022

March 11, 2022March 9, 2022

By Nicole Thorson...

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[SATIRE] Highlights of the Olympics, by someone who for sure watched the Olympics

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 11, 2022March 9, 2022

March 11, 2022March 9, 2022

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor Since the Olympics ended last week a few weeks ago, there has been loads of information to dissect and break down. Luckily, I am someone who for sure, absolutely paid attention to the sports events that went down. Some guy smashed his balls on one of......

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[SATIRE] Top 6 things you can do to help Ukraine

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 11, 2022March 9, 2022

March 11, 2022March 9, 2022

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag You’re looking on the news and you’re watching TikTok when you see the horrific footage of war and death taking place in Ukraine. You feel helpless and despondent. The more you look around the more the world reminds you that we are little people with no......

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[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Spring break edition

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 9, 2022March 9, 2022

March 9, 2022March 9, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Hello, my friends! I’m bringing to you some advice to each sign about what to do over spring break — if you have no plans, of course. Aries: Set fires in Mason while no one’s there. (DON’T DO THIS. THIS IS SATIRE.) Taurus: Go home and learn......

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[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Red flags

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 4, 2022March 4, 2022

March 4, 2022March 4, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Hey, Horoscope fiends. I got what everyone’s been looking forward to this week: THE RED FLAGS OF EACH SIGN! Aries: You don’t clean your emotional support water bottle as often as you should. However, you think that the crusty dusty elements of an unclean emotional support water......

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[SATIRE] Fredonia professor has hilarious bit

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 28, 2022February 28, 2022

February 28, 2022February 28, 2022

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag This article is written for comedic purposes. A SUNY Fredonia professor is making news across the country for the hilarious bit he’s been doing for years! I’ve been taking a philosophy class with this jokester, and when I heard him blurt out this cheeky joke, the......

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Comics: Sidewalk ice

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 28, 2022February 28, 2022

February 28, 2022February 28, 2022

Nicole Thorson Angelo Petrilli...

[SATIRE] Megan’s Sports Roundup: Sports from someone who DEFINITELY knows…

Professor Peter Tucker reflects on his time at Fredonia

Trumps wins 2024 presidential election

Fredonia’s violinist David Rose performs from the heart

[SATIRE] Horoscopes and it’s the same but I’m an alum…

The ‘surprisingly chaotic’ Canadaway Creek

Digging into the impact of Fredonia’s faculty cuts

From EBC to Tiki: Fredonia staple changes ownership

Reviving community through leadership on the field

Lovercolumn: The Transgender Experience

[SATIRE] I’m only holding out for Burger Wednesday

[SATIRE] Disappearance of the ‘FRED’ sign and other stuff that probably doesn’t matter as much

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Predicting how your week is gonna go

Comics: Midterms

[SATIRE] Highlights of the Olympics, by someone who for sure watched the Olympics

[SATIRE] Top 6 things you can do to help Ukraine

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Spring break edition

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Red flags

[SATIRE] Fredonia professor has hilarious bit

Comics: Sidewalk ice