The Scallion - Page 12 of 84 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

[SATIRE] Fenton Hall from a music major’s perspective

Contributor to The LeaderMay 8, 2022May 8, 2022

May 8, 2022May 8, 2022

MEGAN KIDBY Guest Scallywag The following is a parody of the article “Mason Hall from an outsider’s perspective,” previously published March 30, 2022 in Issue 10. As I approached the book building with the bricks I only had one thing on my mind: how was I going to survive in......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes as random stuff happening in the news right now

Contributor to The LeaderMay 5, 2022May 4, 2022

May 5, 2022May 4, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag This is the signs as all the random stuff happening in the news right now! Aries: Casual wildfires happening Taurus: Going back and forth between freezing weather and almost 80 degrees Gemini: Lorde shushing the audience because she wants to have the solo Cancer: The Met Gala......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Not a single SUNY Fredonia a cappella group will let me into their group and here’s why

Contributor to The LeaderApril 19, 2022April 18, 2022

April 19, 2022April 18, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Okay, I’ll admit it. Acafest was really cool. Like, okay, sure, everyone did a good job. G Train? Can’t go wrong. However, I have some complaints. ‘Cause, like, not cool, guys. I auditioned for every single one of your little singy groups, and not a single one......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Some thoughts on the Ukraine crisis, from a very sympathetic acting major

Contributor to The LeaderApril 15, 2022April 13, 2022

April 15, 2022April 13, 2022

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor and The Future of Musical Theatre Let’s also start strong, be aware I’m satirizing. It’s satire, I promise. For further information on the invasion being carried out by Russia in Ukraine, look somewhere that’s not The Scallion. The events and attacks taking place in Ukraine are......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Wee oo Wee oo Police Notters Alert NEW RULES

Contributor to The LeaderApril 6, 2022April 10, 2022

April 6, 2022April 10, 2022

BRIAN CECALA Real Cop at SUNY Fredonia Listen up, chumps. The University Police are getting real tired of your S#@*. We heard the news that they’re closing down Tim Hortons on campus, and we’re FED UP. We gotta go to Starbucks to get donuts? NO WAY, JOSE. We’re not playing......

Scallion

[SATIRE] I’m only holding out for Burger Wednesday

Contributor to The LeaderApril 1, 2022April 4, 2022

April 1, 2022April 4, 2022

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor I’m keeping it real with you, guys. This semester is whopping my whopper. Really, no lie. I’m absolutely befrungled this spring. Bescringled, even. There is only one thing that’s keeping me in the loop, and I’m not alone. Burger Wednesday. Walking into Cranston Marché as a......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Disappearance of the ‘FRED’ sign and other stuff that probably doesn’t matter as much

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 31, 2022March 30, 2022

March 31, 2022March 30, 2022

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor Over spring break, while hordes of college students spent way too much money and acted recklessly in public, the FRED sign on campus was taken away, as well as some other things. We’ll cover the other things, but my main priority is the signage to our......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Predicting how your week is gonna go

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 30, 2022March 29, 2022

March 30, 2022March 29, 2022

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Welcome back to your favorite article series ever. I’m here to do a classic: predict how your week is gonna go. Aries: It’s your time to shine, Aries, and you know it! The winds are beckoning you. You’re gonna spend some well-deserved time outside, probably near the......

Scallion

Comics: Midterms

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 11, 2022March 9, 2022

March 11, 2022March 9, 2022

By Nicole Thorson...

Scallion

[SATIRE] Highlights of the Olympics, by someone who for sure watched the Olympics

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 11, 2022March 9, 2022

March 11, 2022March 9, 2022

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor Since the Olympics ended last week a few weeks ago, there has been loads of information to dissect and break down. Luckily, I am someone who for sure, absolutely paid attention to the sports events that went down. Some guy smashed his balls on one of......

5th Quarter Column: Fifth Time’s a Charm?

Buffalo Bandits look to snatch third straight title

Why do gamers play games they hate?

Campus Life and Student Affairs unveil policy regulating on-campus assemblies

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What to get each sign

Holding space for the new Wicked movie: A review

[SATIRE] I hate Kia Souls

Why Dunkin’ Donuts is better than Tim Hortons, from the…

Apple Music vs. Spotify, coming from a person who has…

Abbie’s Thanksgiving food tier list

[SATIRE] Fenton Hall from a music major’s perspective

[SATIRE] Horoscopes as random stuff happening in the news right now

[SATIRE] Not a single SUNY Fredonia a cappella group will let me into their group and here’s why

[SATIRE] Some thoughts on the Ukraine crisis, from a very sympathetic acting major

[SATIRE] Wee oo Wee oo Police Notters Alert NEW RULES

[SATIRE] I’m only holding out for Burger Wednesday

[SATIRE] Disappearance of the ‘FRED’ sign and other stuff that probably doesn’t matter as much

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Predicting how your week is gonna go

Comics: Midterms

[SATIRE] Highlights of the Olympics, by someone who for sure watched the Olympics