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July 23, 2024
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From the Desk of Chloe Kowalyk: Editor in Chief

From the Desk of EJ Jacobs: Life & Arts Editor

From the Desk of Jace Jacobs: Asst. Scallion Editor

From the Desk of Nicole Thorson: Art Director

From the Desk of Henry Domst: Design Editor

From the Desk of Sierra Mills: Chief Copy Editor

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

[OPINION] What COVID-19 inadvertently taught us

ITS unveils stratigic plan for technology

Dr. Kathryn Kendall takes on enrollment

The Leader
Scallion

Local English major starting to wonder when he’ll be good at writing

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor A local English student, Paul Crendal, has begun to wonder when his “good writing skills” will kick in, latest reports say. According to eyewitness reports, Crendal struggled to come up with even one solid opening sentence for his creative writing class while working in the library.......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Apple unveils new Water, Earth and Fire properties

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor On Sept. 15, Apple unveiled the new generation of iPad, the newly-upgraded iPad Air.  Tech nerds and Steve Jobs fanboys around the world were blown away by the initial announcement, but they failed to hear the more life-changing announcement that immediately followed it. It had......
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Scallion

Don’t worry guys, we don’t have to protest anymore: Fredonia put out a vague statement again, we’re good.

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Fredonia is struggling. From the first week of classes, several protests have taken place, fighting for causes such as accountability for sexual predators and Black Lives Matter.  It is, however, safe to say that our voices have been heard. The following email was sent to all......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] As if things couldn’t get worse, ex-interim president Hefner has been wandering around campus with a gun

Contributor to The Leader
JAY BYRONGuest Scallywag With all of the commotion going on with COVID-19, non-potable water and general college anxiety, most students are on their toes already. Students are sick and tired of hearing or reading the word “unprecedented.” Shockingly enough, their stress meters have indeed skyrocketed. The reason, of course, is......
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Scallion

Trump says Biden is a bunch of ferrets in a trench coat

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor Once again, Donald Trump has been convinced of an out-of-this-world conspiracy theory that he found on social media. In a recent flurry of tweets, the president makes it clear that he is under the impression that vice president Joe Biden, the 2020 democratic candidate, is......
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Scallion

Uh oh, orange man! Small hands! Cheeto man, hehehe, big baby man! That’s right: Trump

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAKScallion Editor Watch out! Small hands, hehehe! Who do I mean? Big baby man who is orange, who else could I mean but El Presidente, the man behind the pee tape (Got em!), Dongal Tromp!  Orange man, boo! Skin orange! Laugh at orange skin!  Hands? Small. Donald? Drumpf. Eat......
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