The Scallion - Page 22 of 84 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

We gamers are SICK of politics in our entertainment

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 5, 2020November 5, 2020

November 5, 2020November 5, 2020

BRIAN CECALA Guest Scallywag What’s up gamers! It’s me, ya boy FazeSmoothie, here back at ya for another hot take. STOP PUTTING POLITICS INTO OUR ENTERTAINMENT. Sheesh, I’m trying to relax over here. It all started when my favorite war game, Kill Gun, came out with a sequel, Kill Gun......

Scallion

Hot damn, he was right: Joe Biden actually is a bunch of ferrets in a trench coat

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 5, 2020November 5, 2020

November 5, 2020November 5, 2020

MATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor As shocking as it is, one of Donald Trump’s conspiracy theories has been proven true. Democratic candidate Joe Biden is not a man, but instead a hard-working group of ferrets imitating the former vice president. This has come as a shock to the international community,......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Seasonal depression forces Fredonia students back to their comfort media once again

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 3, 2020November 3, 2020

November 3, 2020November 3, 2020

MATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor Well, it’s that time of year again. The leaves are coming down, the temperature is dropping and the morale of students attending SUNY Fredonia is also taking a nosedive. With the change of seasons into the colder months, there is a perturbing, but not wholly......

Scallion

Horoscopes: Election edition

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 2, 2020November 2, 2020

November 2, 2020November 2, 2020

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag This week, we have a special edition of the horoscopes. These are the people that each of the signs would vote for. Aries: You will not be voting at all because you’re pissed off at the establishment. Taurus: You will be writing in Elizabeth Warren, because......

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Top 10 reasons why Kamala Harris is my #girlboss

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 2, 2020November 2, 2020

November 2, 2020November 2, 2020

JAY BYRONGuest Scallywag This article is for my ladies out there. Ladies? Are you listening? This is the reading material for you. Only ladies. If you are a man, stop reading! Right now! Listen up, ladies. We got a woman who has power right in front of us. Are you......

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Hey guys, it’s me, token MAGA hat guy

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 1, 2020November 2, 2020

November 1, 2020November 2, 2020

BRIAN CECALA Guest Scallywag It’s me, the token MAGA hat guy on campus, coming at you this election year to remind you of the various values we, as smart conservatives, have. Far-left communist sleepy Joe Biden and open Antifa card-carrying member Kamala Harris are trying to make all citizens of......

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THE SCALLION MEGA CAGE MATCH 3000 FOR THE WHITEHOUSE

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 31, 2020October 31, 2020

October 31, 2020October 31, 2020

JOSEPH MARCINIAKEditor of the Scallion This election has been everything BUT calm. We have seen candidates tear each other apart, both literally and figuratively. We still cannot find all the pieces of Steve Bullock, because of the BRUTAL takedown by Amy Klobuchar. To say that this election has been confusing......

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Ghosts hacked my son’s computer

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 27, 2020October 27, 2020

October 27, 2020October 27, 2020

BRIAN CECALA Guest Scallywag You heard me right; I heard a crazy noise coming from my 14-year-old son’s room. So, being the good father that I am, I busted through the door. There was PORN on his computer and I was furious so I asked him what the deal was.......

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[SATIRE] Pumpkin carving is on the rise: Going under the knife for human beauty

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 26, 2020October 26, 2020

October 26, 2020October 26, 2020

JULES HOEPTING Design Editor Pumpkin torture by means of carving needs to stop. This method of antagonizing is going stronger than ever; within the last month, over 60 million pumpkins were tortured by carving. In order to empathize with the pain millions of gourds face every year, I spoke with......

Scallion

Uh oh, hot shot over here: This guy is going as three hole punch Jim for Halloween for the third year in a row

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 25, 2020October 25, 2020

October 25, 2020October 25, 2020

JAY BYRONGuest Scallywag What a wild upcoming Halloween! With political conflicts on the rise and COVID-19 clearing social events off the calendar, Halloween will be a lot more indoorsy than it has ever been. There is no better timing for people to do the bare minimum. Fear not, for “this......

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We gamers are SICK of politics in our entertainment

Hot damn, he was right: Joe Biden actually is a bunch of ferrets in a trench coat

[SATIRE] Seasonal depression forces Fredonia students back to their comfort media once again

Horoscopes: Election edition

Top 10 reasons why Kamala Harris is my #girlboss

Hey guys, it’s me, token MAGA hat guy

THE SCALLION MEGA CAGE MATCH 3000 FOR THE WHITEHOUSE

Ghosts hacked my son’s computer

[SATIRE] Pumpkin carving is on the rise: Going under the knife for human beauty

Uh oh, hot shot over here: This guy is going as three hole punch Jim for Halloween for the third year in a row