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Fredonia NY
January 18, 2025
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The Leader
Scallion

“So much for the tolerant left…” Racist says after leftist calls him a racist

Contributor to The Leader
JAY BYRONGuest Scallywag We ask hard-hitting questions here at The Scallion.  One question we have been mulling over in our head since the dawn of time is: “Who is the snowflake?” We realize, though, that this may be too deep and difficult of a question to be asking in general.......
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Scallion

Trump is now officially the healthiest man on Earth according to scientists, according to Trump

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Well, resistance comrades, pack it up. We’re done. No celebrating Trump being dead anymore, because today on a Fox News interview, Trump announced that scientists are saying he’s the healthiest man on Earth.   That’s a big blow to me and my fellow resistors.  The interview, conducted......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Wow, thank you: FSA has been providing us with free penicillin in our food!

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor It’s no secret to the students here at SUNY Fredonia that our school’s first priority is the wellbeing of us as residents. We are provided expert medical care, our words have an impact on the culture at school and they have the decency to prepare......
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Scallion

Local English major starting to wonder when he’ll be good at writing

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor A local English student, Paul Crendal, has begun to wonder when his “good writing skills” will kick in, latest reports say. According to eyewitness reports, Crendal struggled to come up with even one solid opening sentence for his creative writing class while working in the library.......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Apple unveils new Water, Earth and Fire properties

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor On Sept. 15, Apple unveiled the new generation of iPad, the newly-upgraded iPad Air.  Tech nerds and Steve Jobs fanboys around the world were blown away by the initial announcement, but they failed to hear the more life-changing announcement that immediately followed it. It had......
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Scallion

Don’t worry guys, we don’t have to protest anymore: Fredonia put out a vague statement again, we’re good.

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Fredonia is struggling. From the first week of classes, several protests have taken place, fighting for causes such as accountability for sexual predators and Black Lives Matter.  It is, however, safe to say that our voices have been heard. The following email was sent to all......
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