The Scallion - Page 24 of 82 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

Horoscopes 5/2/2020

Contributor to The LeaderMay 2, 2020May 2, 2020

May 2, 2020May 2, 2020

ALEXANDRA WALSH Professional comedian and frozen pizza cooker Aquarius: I love and miss you people. Pisces: I bet you’d look beautiful, even with a face mask on. Aries: Aries?? More like HAIR-ES. Just because there’s a stay @ home order doesn’t mean we let ourselves go. Shave, please. Taurus: Finally,......

Scallion

Horoscopes 4/25/2020

Contributor to The LeaderApril 25, 2020April 24, 2020

April 25, 2020April 24, 2020

ALEXANDRA WALSH Special to The Leader Aquarius: Summer is coming up and we are all dying to know, is your summer body ready yet? Probably not, so start jogging. Pisces: It takes a lot to sit in the house all day, but you know what else is hard? These online......

Scallion

[Satire] Pets’ perspective: The pandemic

Contributor to The LeaderApril 19, 2020April 17, 2020

April 19, 2020April 17, 2020

JULES HOEPTING Guest Scallywag Here at The Leader, we strive for balanced perspectives on important issues. It has been apparent that one COVID-19 highly affected group — the pets — has been practically ignored. As it turns out, just like us humans, pets are processing the pandemic in different ways. ......

Scallion

[Satire] This coronavirus has affected my motivation so much, I’m even too lazy to write this article

Contributor to The LeaderApril 18, 2020April 17, 2020

April 18, 2020April 17, 2020

JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor...

Scallion

[Satire] With nothing else for people to do, these bizarre internet challenges are making a comeback

Contributor to The LeaderApril 15, 2020April 15, 2020

April 15, 2020April 15, 2020

MATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag The internet is an interesting and terrifying place. People who you’ve never met look right at you, say, “what’s up, guys!” and immediately start making bad decisions. It’s the future every concerned mom from the ‘80s was worried about their kids getting involved with. There are......

Scallion

[Satire] Wait, where is everyone?

Contributor to The LeaderApril 13, 2020April 7, 2020

April 13, 2020April 7, 2020

HANNAH BLIDY Confused Staff Scallywag Okay, so it’s been like three weeks since spring break, and I don’t think I’ve seen a single person on campus. Seriously — not one. I really just don’t know what’s going on. I’ve been going to my classes, but no one ever shows up!......

Scallion

Horoscopes 4/11/2020

Contributor to The LeaderApril 11, 2020April 7, 2020

April 11, 2020April 7, 2020

ALEXANDRA WALSH Guest Scallywag Aquarius: COVID-19? More like Hoevid-19, Aquarius. I see you on Tinder. Pisces: Wash your hands please, thank you. Aries: Social-distance yourself from Geminis… They are never good to quarantine with. Taurus: I know you miss the cutie you used to see every MWF in your class,......

Scallion

[Satire] Class attendance is at an all-time low this semester

Contributor to The LeaderApril 8, 2020April 9, 2020

April 8, 2020April 9, 2020

MATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag For some reason, there has been a serious drop in attendance in classes. Nowadays, it seems like nobody’s going to their classes anymore, myself included. I am guilty of missing class just as much as the next guy, but here’s my reasoning. I, for one, have......

Scallion

[Satire] In these trying times, we need to keep one group especially safe — the billionaires

Contributor to The LeaderApril 4, 2020April 1, 2020

April 4, 2020April 1, 2020

MATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag As we all know, this COVID-19 nonsense is taking up everyone’s group consciousness. In an attempt to flatten the curve, a vast majority of Americans are staying within their homes, and this is hardest on one group in particular: the mega-rich. Without access to private jet......

Scallion

[Satire] Breaking news: New disease found even more deadly than coronavirus, named bluelightvirus

Contributor to The LeaderApril 2, 2020April 1, 2020

April 2, 2020April 1, 2020

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag Stay calm everyone; everything will be okay. Or at least I hope to God, since we have another viral pandemic on our hands. Scallion scientists recently discovered a new disease, which they dubbed “bluelightvirus.” Victims of this disease experience symptoms such as low body temperature and......

From the Desk of Chloe Kowalyk: Editor in Chief

From the Desk of EJ Jacobs: Life & Arts Editor

From the Desk of Jace Jacobs: Asst. Scallion Editor

From the Desk of Nicole Thorson: Art Director

From the Desk of Henry Domst: Design Editor

From the Desk of Sierra Mills: Chief Copy Editor

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

[OPINION] What COVID-19 inadvertently taught us

ITS unveils stratigic plan for technology

Dr. Kathryn Kendall takes on enrollment

Horoscopes 5/2/2020

Horoscopes 4/25/2020

[Satire] Pets’ perspective: The pandemic

[Satire] This coronavirus has affected my motivation so much, I’m even too lazy to write this article

[Satire] With nothing else for people to do, these bizarre internet challenges are making a comeback

[Satire] Wait, where is everyone?

Horoscopes 4/11/2020

[Satire] Class attendance is at an all-time low this semester

[Satire] In these trying times, we need to keep one group especially safe — the billionaires

[Satire] Breaking news: New disease found even more deadly than coronavirus, named bluelightvirus