October 26, 2026
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Naloxone becomes available in Gregory Hall

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Student Media, Cornell Incident

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World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

Issues of Sports Gambling

From Fredonia to New Mexico?  

A playlist for each mood: Yearning  

The Leader
Scallion

[SATIRE] President Biden announces “Drugs are cool now!”

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJOSEPH MARCINIAKScallion Editor At a press conference on Sunday, press secretary Jen Psaki was talking about nuclear weapon deals or something when the president made a surprise appearance. Reporters in the room say that he had a confused, jumbled look, and had some sort of white powder beneath his nose.......
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Scallion

Turns out, nobody liked my Super Bowl halftime show idea from last year

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor Well, another football season has come and gone. While fans across the country cheered, families remarked about the sub-par commercials this year and Tom Brady has once again managed to make more money than I will ever have in the span of nine months. With......
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Scallion

Horoscopes: The signs as Scallion articles

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteHANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag Guess what everyone! This is my 10th time writing the horoscopes!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!! In honor of this MOMENTOUS occasion, I have decided to read literally every Scallion article written in 2020 and choose one for each sign!!!!!!!!!! Isn’t that fun???????? Also it means I get to do......
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Scallion

Kayne can still win the election! Don’t give up!

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesBRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag You IDIOTS did it again, huh? You squandered the election to some idiots. The two party system fails the will of the people. Polls showed that over 90 percent of Americans wanted Kanye West for the presidency. Before you fake-news fans say it — yes, that......
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Scallion

An open dialogue: Union Ghost vs. High School Student

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesBRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag We are here at the Scallion always to further intelligent discussion. In light of the ever-ongoing topic of the Confederate flag within America, I have invited the ghost of the Union Colonel Eugene B. Beaumont. Beaumont trained soldiers in Washington in 1861 and received a medal......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Ranking the Supreme Court’s fashion sense

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 4 minutesJAY BYRONGuest Scallywag Uh oh! Fashion police! You read the title. Buckle up, fashionistas. We are going hard today on these current Supreme Court members to do the judging they need done for them. For the purposes of this article, I will pretend not to really know them well. Everyone’s......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Exclusive interview with the guy who has Hunter Biden’s laptop

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesBRIAN CECALA Guest Scallywag The Laptop that’s been the center of controversy for one week, which at the current pace of politics today is long gone dead news, has been brought to Fredonia where the world’s leading intellectuals could examine it’s contents. Conservatives talking heads have warned their viewers of......
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Scallion

The Scallion reviews the 2020 Election: Wait, what the f*ck just happened?

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJOSEPH MARCINIAKEditor of the Scallion After a tumultuous campaign, sources have called the 2020 election for Joseph R. Biden Jr., king of the crab people.  The lord of all crab people, Biden, gave a rousing speech where he said “All people are equal under the law, and you can go......
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