The Scallion - Page 29 of 84 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

New Google Street View car crashes because manufacturer forgot to install Google Drive

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 6, 2019November 6, 2019

November 6, 2019November 6, 2019

COREY DALE-MILLER Guest Scallywag Breaking news: Florida man who drove Google Street View car with the supposed purpose of updating Google Maps crashed into an alligator this past Sunday. The man, Steri O. Type was found shirtless on the side of the road, tussling with the great beast. “What hath......

Scallion

“How do YOU feel about underage drinking on campus?”

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 6, 2019November 6, 2019

November 6, 2019November 6, 2019

ALEXANDRA WALSH Guest Scallywag Jack Daniels, sophomore chemistry major “According to my Rhode Island license, it is legal for me to drink … so does that count as underage?” Bailey Hennessy, freshman party girl with a concentration in strawberry Burnett’s “What the RAs don’t know won’t hurt them. Let the......

Scallion

Great work, we’re proud!

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 6, 2019November 6, 2019

November 6, 2019November 6, 2019

YOUR PARENT/GUARDIAN Guest Scallywag If you need some encouragement for the rest of the semester, please continue reading. Oh, hey there son/daughter/non-gendered child, it is I, your father/mother/legal guardian. I just wanted to take a moment here in the Scallion section of the newspaper to tell you I’m real proud......

Scallion

Mother uproots Fredonia student’s family to follow her daughter to school

Contributor to The LeaderNovember 6, 2019February 6, 2020

November 6, 2019February 6, 2020

MATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag One of the biggest concerns most college students have is that they will be too distant from their family. The move to campus is fun, and opportunities open up for those who attend university, but it’s quite an abrupt change from being able to see your......

Scallion

Spooky Stories to tell in the dark: Dr. Hefner edition

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 30, 2019October 30, 2019

October 30, 2019October 30, 2019

JOSEPH MARCINIAK Spooky Editor of the Scallion Buckle up, everyone, we have a SPOOKY story to tell you. This story is 100% true, so you better be prepared. Are you sitting comfortably? Then let’s begin. It all started on an average Halloween night. Dr. Hefner sat in his office, counting......

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Horrorscopes

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 30, 2019October 30, 2019

October 30, 2019October 30, 2019

ARIES You aren’t winning that costume contest this year. TAURUS You’re really being a sexy mermaid … Don’t drown in the creek … or do LEO Vampires like blood … especially yours, Leo. VIRGO You are a trick and a treat, Virgo. Yummmmm. CANCER Freddy’s coming to get you. GEMINI......

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Team of crack scientists have discovered that more humans die on Earth than any other planet

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 30, 2019October 30, 2019

October 30, 2019October 30, 2019

MATTHEW BAUM Horrifying Staff Scallywag In a recently-published article in a scientific journal, a group of statisticians and biologists have made a breathtaking discovery. According to the six years of data analysis the group has compiled, Earth is now considered the most dangerous planet in the solar system. Head Researcher......

Scallion

Folks, can we stop jumping in the leaf mass graves?

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 30, 2019October 30, 2019

October 30, 2019October 30, 2019

COREY DALE-MILLER Terrifying Guest Scallywag I know, folks. It’s fall. You want to have some fun. And what could possibly be more enthralling than jumping into a pile of leaves? Halloween is coming up, and you might think that it is time to get into the holiday spirit. But I’m......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 23, 2019October 21, 2019

October 23, 2019October 21, 2019

ARIES It seems like it mightbe time for you to riseand shine. TAURUS This weekend you willbe rising and shining. LEO #riseandshine VIRGO Don’t bet on sports.You’ll end up losing allyour money and youwon’t be happy whenyou rise and shine. CANCER Rise and shine. LIBRA Libra, you walk too slowin......

Scallion

Jared Leto: ‘I’m pissed’

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 23, 2019October 21, 2019

October 23, 2019October 21, 2019

MATTHEW BAUM Guest Scallywag The actor that epitomizes the exact worst of method acting, Jared Leto, has recently taken to the media to report that he’s mad. Nobody asked, but he decided he wanted people to be aware of it. “I’m pissed! I am incredibly pissed!” Leto told Guest Scallywag......

Humans steal jobs created for AI: The irony of automation…

[SATIRE] Megan’s Sports Roundup: Sports from someone who DEFINITELY knows…

Professor Peter Tucker reflects on his time at Fredonia

Trumps wins 2024 presidential election

Fredonia’s violinist David Rose performs from the heart

[SATIRE] Horoscopes and it’s the same but I’m an alum…

The ‘surprisingly chaotic’ Canadaway Creek

Digging into the impact of Fredonia’s faculty cuts

From EBC to Tiki: Fredonia staple changes ownership

Reviving community through leadership on the field

New Google Street View car crashes because manufacturer forgot to install Google Drive

“How do YOU feel about underage drinking on campus?”

Great work, we’re proud!

Mother uproots Fredonia student’s family to follow her daughter to school

Spooky Stories to tell in the dark: Dr. Hefner edition

Horrorscopes

Team of crack scientists have discovered that more humans die on Earth than any other planet

Folks, can we stop jumping in the leaf mass graves?

Horoscopes

Jared Leto: ‘I’m pissed’