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Fredonia NY
July 24, 2024
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From the Desk of Chloe Kowalyk: Editor in Chief

From the Desk of EJ Jacobs: Life & Arts Editor

From the Desk of Jace Jacobs: Asst. Scallion Editor

From the Desk of Nicole Thorson: Art Director

From the Desk of Henry Domst: Design Editor

From the Desk of Sierra Mills: Chief Copy Editor

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

[OPINION] What COVID-19 inadvertently taught us

ITS unveils stratigic plan for technology

Dr. Kathryn Kendall takes on enrollment

The Leader
Scallion

Down with the Scallion! Writer fed up with oppressive formatting guidelines

Contributor to The Leader
COREY DALE-MILLER Guest Scallywag Fredonia Scallion writer Corey Dale-Miller was scolded last week for no reason. Dale-Miller, who wears glasses, was told specifically not to use 18-point font. How am I supposed to see this shit if it’s only 10-point font? Like seriously, my glasses barely work anyways. I’ve really......
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Scallion

“What do YOU think of the possible impeachment of Donald Trump?”

Contributor to The Leader
ALEXANDRA WALSH Guest Scallywag Monnie Lewinski, freshman psychology major with an internship at the White House “He goes to zoom tan, right?” Lenny D., senior environmental science major with a minor in acting “I heard he takes his private jet everywhere, and that is NOT good for the environment. If......
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Scallion

Local student committed to doing essay after five more minutes of video game

Contributor to The Leader
COREY DALE-MILLER Guest Scallywag Neva S. Tapp, a sophomore communication major who had not yet started his English class essay, was last seen playing “Borderlands 3” alone on his couch. When The Scallion inquired about Tapp’s intention to finish his schoolwork, Tapp noted that “Borderlands 3″ had only just come......
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Scallion

Local student really hoping they’re lucky enough to get cold chicken wings made several hours ago at Willy C’s

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Guest Scallywag Willy C’s: the goddamn dungeon of overhyped fast food that lurks beneath the Williams Center. We’re all familiar with the long lines, the disturbing smell of despair and half-furnished basement and the television screen of hypnotic and meaninglessly-color-coded numbers. But we still go. We still hope......
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Scallion

Pelosi: ‘Concentration camps acceptable, but we draw the line at investigating Biden’

Contributor to The Leader
DOM MAGISTRO Assistant Scallion Editor An impeachment inquiry has begun as a result of a whistleblower complaint. The whistleblower complains that Trump asked the Ukranian prime minister to investigate Biden. Pelosi and House Democrats draw the line there. No one messes with Joe. “There are just some actions that are......
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Scallion

Better late than never: Here’s what went down at the Democratic Presidential Debate in June

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Twenty candidates for the Democratic ticket for president went head-to-head in June, and it was intense. We’re super late, but here’s some highlights from that debate if you still care. Arguably the most important person running, Bill de Blasio, probably said something about beating Donald Trump.......
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